I am so sorry you are hurting. You sound like you've had a really hard life. Getting help was the right thing to do and now you need more help.

Unfortunately, she can't fix you and it is hard and probably destroying her life now as well.

Life isn't fair, there is no such thing as fair. It sucks, I know.

All you can do is reach out to any family you have left and ask for their help. Reconnect with a counselor and start talking as much as you need to. It may not feel like it but with time this gets easier.

At some point you need to take control of your life and take actions like going back to school or even taking a class at a community college. One small step at a time until you can walk again and then run again.