yowen2000 t1_jegm1cp wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:34 PM

Reply to comment by [deleted] in [26M] [24F] she was only dating me for sex and I feel kinda disgusted by throwRA283108

So, before I dated the girl I described above, I dated a girl that was similar in the sense that she didn't know what she wanted, she was honest about it like your girl.

I allowed myself, probably much like you, to become invested in the relationship at a level I shouldn't have. I too was very distraught when the relationship ended due to us wanting different things (casual vs relationship).

What I learned there, and what you'll come to learn in the future, is to really listen when someone says what they want, if you match their level of commitment you'll be far less hurt, but it can still hurt, a romantic connection ending is never without feeling, but it will hurt far less if you stay realistic about what your relationship is and is not.

So keep that in mind. I think with time you'll come to appreciate this relationship you had with this girl, I was eventually able to with the girl I described here. We really did have a great time while it lasted and I learned very valuable lessons for future relationships.

reluctantdonkey t1_jeh4un8 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 11:53 PM

Yes, it's important to keep in mind that, even if this woman had said "I am 100% looking for a serious relationship!" she STILL could have broken up with him two months later (yes, even after "riding his dick" and all that noise) and there would STILL be nothing wrong with it.

Because that's the dating game. It just is.

[deleted] t1_jegmc2x wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:36 PM

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yowen2000 t1_jegombs wrote on March 31, 2023 at 9:52 PM

You don't necessarily need to stay detached, it's more so "managing expectations".

But if this is true:

> Not when sex is involved. I literally cannot seperate my emotions from it

You've learned something valuable! Again, you'll likely eventually be thankful for this relationship, heartbreak sucks, but we eventually grow from it, don't get bitter from it. You are a living, feeling human being and that's okay!

So, next relationship, take your time to really date someone, to get to know them, so you know you two are on the same page. To start, you need to hear that they are at least open to a serious relationship. Or else, why even have a first date?