Submitted by throwRA4236777 t3_127wqg8 in relationship_advice

Basically she came home from work and was acting horny and I said I was kinda tired. She then said "is there another woman?" She says this often but ik she's not serious.

I jokingly said "is there another man" in reply. She then said, the men at my job are ugly... and started going in on them insulting their looks etc.. it was odd bc I didn't mention her job and it was an extreme reaction

I commented that it was a weird way to react to me saying that for those reasons I mentioned. She then asked if I want to go through her phone. I was feeling kinda pissed at that point bc I was just tired and this caught me off guard, so I said "sure" and walked towards her phone. She then said "seriously... we aren't children, blah blah blah. She defended all this saying she was just put off bc I never get possessive or anything. Which is bullshit. I'm human. I asked her if there were alot of guys at her new job a couple weeks ago.. so that's just not true

Idk that interaction was weird af to me. But, I dropped it bc I didn't wanna argue. It didn't even start from me accusing her of cheating (which she has accused me of many times during arguments). Also I never would expect her to cheat bc she rly hates cheaters, and it just doesn't seem like something she'd do at all. But that weirded me out and my gut is telling me as well as logic that it is weird.

I'm a psych major so idk if I'm overthinking. But here's a list of why it's odd

  1. It's weird because she tried to reassure me by mentioning a specific group of men. Which is weird in itself because there's no need to be defensive over a sarcastic comment mimicking her own

  2. It's odd that she had such an extreme reaction

  3. It's odd that basically everything that she said during this interaction made no sense

  4. Bringing up cheating constantly tells me cheating is on her mind (most likely) no such thing a psychology facts as it is not a very measurable science

  5. The phone thing was weird too

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Dressed_2_Kill t1_jeg6k8e wrote

Her insulting the men at work doesn’t mean the exact opposite. Give her some credit.

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[deleted] t1_jeg6sz4 wrote

You need a baseline first. Is she usually open and does she rarely bring up guys from work? Have you caught her speaking bad of a guy that she was actually interested/attracted to? Things like “I thought he was awkward/gay/not that cute” but her actions speak otherwise? I think she’s trying to deflect and her being open to sharing her phone then getting weird screams red flags to me. Relationship requires openness and honesty and if she accuses you of having other women when you’ve never broken her trust could mean she’s projecting.

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throwRA4236777 OP t1_jeg7l2x wrote

She doesn't talk about guys from work. I've asked before who she was in a meeting with once bc she was laughing alot. So I assumed that's maybe why she said that. But she said it's bc I don't ask stuff like that.. idk.. she's honest about looks but typically doesn't contradict what is true about men. She will call pretty women ugly tho. I've never broken her trust besides watching porn when she knew I did but just kinda decided I'm not going to anymore halfway through our 4 year relationship.

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HHIOTF t1_jeg6t9s wrote

there is truth in jest.

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