I won't sugar coat or lie - it's not easy right now even thinking about blocking him, and everyone is making me feel like I'm drowning in tar. It's heavy and hard to say goodbye to people that I've grown close to. I hate that I lied, I know what I have done is wrong, and I know I won't ever do it again. Because it's a lesson learned. It hurts. Every part of me wants to hold on to them all, but I know it'll only hurt me, set me back, and prevent me from healing.

Maybe they never were my friends to begin with, but it was one enjoyable illusion. My heart probably isn't ready for a relationship. Maybe I'm mentally not ready for one either. I could do as you said and join some groups, meet people who'll understand and help me build myself back up.

I'll invest myself more in my art and in my studies. Distract my mind and find coping mechanisms, healthy ones. Thank you. I am taking every word to heart. Honestly, journaling sounds like something I could really enjoy, so I might just try that out, too. For now, my first step of healing is blocking him and everyone that he calls his friends.