ladypsychosis t1_iuk7le0 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 11:24 PM

Reply to comment by athena2367 in Man-hating, controlling friend(s) vs slightly new, confrontational, loud boyfriend by athena2367

Hey girl. I did read the whole thing. Sounds like a nightmare. I’ve dated a huge asshole in the past who my friends hated. I couldn’t even say his name around my best friend.

Listen- he treated you poorly in front of your friends and embarrassed you. He was starting fights and calling you names. He admitted to being an asshole and said he’s not going to change. I strongly recommend ending it. If you don’t, it will only get harder to end it later. I’m worried that you’re on the path to an abusive relationship.

Also- I’d recommend reaching out and apologizing to your friends and if they are mean about it instead of accepting, consider ending the friendships as well. Whether you end the friendships or not, I’d recommend trying to make some new friends.

athena2367 OP t1_iuk8q60 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 11:33 PM

Thanks for the input!! I don’t know how else to explain this without sounding like I’m defending him—but I was in a not so good relationship before this and if I’m being brutally honest, I have gone to therapy, done a lot of soul searching, and know when a guy has potential to be abusive. I really don’t feel worried at all about that with him and tbh, if he showed any signs, I know for a fact I would not stay with him. For some reason, I feel like no one thinks I’m smart/strong enough to stand up for myself and know when I’m being manipulated. at this moment, I feel like I’ve been in an almost abusive relationship with my friends (I feel like I have to walk on eggshells around them constantly and I honestly I’d rather be alone then hang out with them because of all of the meanness and negativity they bring around. I really feel like this whole ordeal was just the last straw that finally made me stand up to my friends for being not so good friends (especially as of recently).

I also believe in giving someone more than one chance (this was my bf’s first “f*ckup.”) I think alot of factors were involved and alot of bias by my friends have come into play. I also have given these girls soooo many chances (and I don’t think they realize it) and tbh, I feel very taken for granted/used by them.