you havent physically cheated in other words but you have emotionally cheated on this person. And like others mentioned youeve said your coworker more than your significant other...your partner is clearly secondary and not priority. has your partner expressed any concern towards this work relationship? if so, how did you respond? have you come to your partner about any of this yet? i am genuinely curious because i myself feel like the outsider looking in with my boyfriend and his coworker so i as well am looking for insight ,not to be a bitch. the drama...though...you are the consequences you create...you say your aware but why have you continued to cross boundaries and allow this to grow into something more..your pulling away from your partner..stop allowing yourself to stoop so low. Stop making excuses, stop pitying yourself, stop being selfish. you need to put your focus into your significant other.You need to change yourself if you want your relationship to work. if you havent caused trauma yet ..your about to go down shits creek and i could only imagine the hell you will create. ive been on all sides of this..you need to limit contact with your coworker.be honest with your partner, open up to them about this problem. it may hurt them but man honesty and truth that shit is powerful and she will thank you. and i only hope she will stand by you and you prove to her that you love her. look at it from the other persons perspective being on the outside of the relationship looking in at this relationship with your cw.be more concerned about the damage to your relationship w your so and not the feelings of your coworker , understand you are not an innocent party here. i mean no disrespect when i type any of this as well . better to acknowledge it now and take the appropriate measures to save your relationship and your partners sanity