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lil-peanutbutter t1_iyf94yp wrote

Nobody should throw anything at anybody’s head, especially something hard. Your dad trying to fix things now because you are an adult is a little too late. When you get into therapy you should try to set up a session with your dad so you can tell him how he fucked up while growing up. That will only happen once you are comfortable enough to actually tell your dad, but you should at some point. It will help him see how he made life for you and it will help you to let go and become a better person with or without a relationship with him.

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Pester_Goblin7123 OP t1_iyf9bzd wrote

Yeah I don’t know if I’m quite there yet, but it’s definitely a thought for the future

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lil-peanutbutter t1_iyf9vh8 wrote

You don’t have to do it today, tomorrow, or next year. But you should at some point once you are ok to do so. Plus doing it with your therapist will make things easier for you to talk.

I never told my dad any of the shit he did to me. It has taken years to be able to be ok. Once I figured out that forgiving him isn’t for him, it’s for me helped a lot to make things easier. You never have to actually say you forgive him. But letting it all go will help you.

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