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oiler1996 t1_iye8lza wrote

why would you open up a 7 year relationship? Talk to your bf about ground rules and bring up this guy? Is this guy in question the reason you wanted to open the relationship? Hope you understand that opening up a relationship that is this far in is usually a terrible idea and it will probably end horrible with it ending the relationship

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poesnola t1_iye9y55 wrote

We are both eachothers first everything, and i sometimes felt trapped. For us our relationship is more than just sex. I know that it is risky, we made the rule that if it does not work out it is also a result, and we stop with the open relationship. we are both really sober about these things... the guy i just met at a musicfestival where i was with my boyfriend, and it clicked very well, and has nothing to do with the opening, we met after this decision

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oiler1996 t1_iyeaf7v wrote

Did you want to open it up because of the connection with this other guy? It is suspisous that you met him at a music festival and now want him to be your first for the open relationship, seems kinda planned out. Trapped how? Im letting you know this wont ruin the open relationship part of your relationship, sleeping with other people will ruin the entire relationship, you will both he single if you go through with this.

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poesnola t1_iyeb3sw wrote

No no, we already have an open relationship for a few months. And we met this guy this weekend. I dont get how this seems planned out. And thank you for your advice, it is really nice to get some different views on this.

Do you really think, that when we both agreed it is okay to sleep with other people, and it happens it will ruin the relationship?

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oiler1996 t1_iyebuhk wrote

I misunderstood i thought you just opened up after meeting this new guy, thats why it sounded planned to me, my apologies.

But yes even though you both agreed to an open relationship i think once you both start sleeping around it will end the relationship. At some point one of you will refuse sex with the other and an insecurity will pop up, do they enjoy another person more, am i not good enough anymore, do they get more outside so they dont need me, am i just an emotional support partner? Its like having a threeway and your partner showing more attention to the other person, it will eventually rub you the wrong way and cause issues.

I honestly think that if a relationship isnt open at the beginning then it should stay closed, more times then not if you open up later in a relationship it ends badly. Just my opinion, never really kool with the thought of my partner fucking someone else or building intimacy with someone.

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yslyric t1_iyejei8 wrote

hey, i’ve been in open relationships and they work as long as ppl are honest and respect boundaries (just like in any relationship)

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Domguyps5 t1_iyembfb wrote

At some point your boyfriend will regret it

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