It's funny: I'm actually a wedding photographer and I enjoy weddings no matter if I'm working or just attending as a guest or participating as a groomsman (like I did this weekend for my sister!) However, attending so many weddings has had the effect of cementing my decision to not get married. Weddings are a lot of work, they're expensive, and they can be the cause of a lot of drama. Frankly, I don't blame your boyfriend one bit.

However, it's important to tease apart the different elements. There is the legal aspect of marriage and there is the religious and/or cultural and/or social aspect of the wedding. People treat them as a package, but they're not inherently bundled. You can go to the courthouse and get married in a few minutes for minimal cost with just a one or two witnesses. Conversely, you can have elaborate commitment ceremonies that legally mean nothing. Which one are you really mourning? Your post romanticizes all of the aspects of the wedding ceremony while your boyfriend seems concerned with the potential legal fallout of divorce. Both are fair opinions and there's actually potential for middle ground.

It sounds like getting legally married is simply out of the question, but maybe you can convey to your boyfriend that some of the social constructs of the wedding ceremony are important to you. Compromises are important in a relationship and he should be able to see that denying you everthing about marriage is just as unreasonable as if you demanded that he agree to a full-blown elaborate wedding. Start somewhere simple: can he buy you a ring? Can you pick out matching bands to both wear as an outward symbol of your commitment to each other? It seems like the most baseline request. You could also discuss having a small commitment ceremony with no paperwork. There are options between nothing at all and a huge, expensive, extravagant event with hundreds of guests.