Oy this is a lot.

I won't dig your hole deeper even though I want to, but you're shit for reading her journal.

Anyways -

You need to know that dreams do not mean as much as people give them credit for. Sure sometimes they do symbolize and resemble real life stresses, but certainly not always. Trauma does weird things to the brain where it thinks about things even when it doesn't want to. We all have weird and possibly dark thoughts ( like over sexualisation of your abuser) that you try to deal with. She wrote it in her journal. You read it. Idk how you're gonna deal with it but you better get the fuck over it for her sake because she deserves better than this.

Get over it and stay out of her journal from here on out.

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Her brain is working through trauma from an abusive asshole and you’re crying me me me.

You fucked around and found out. I’d consider seeing a therapist to work through your insecurities before you destroy your marriage.

[removed]

She is transfixed on only remembering the "Good Things" about this ex and not all of the garbage he put her thru. This happens a lot and can even be elevated to become a "Fantasy" as it appears she has done with this ex. Sadly, you can't do much about it, especially without showing you read her journal. Things usually crash and burn when people allow "Fantasies" to become reality. It may also mean the end of your marriage as well if it ever gets that far.

Basically, all you can do at this point is to live your best life with her. Make sure you do all the things a "Good Husband" should do to and for his wife and if she starts to "drift away" nip it in the bud immediately and find out what the problem is. Re-evaluating where your relationship is at this time might be a good thing to do as well plus possibly setting up some visits to a marriage counselor.

I probably would keep an eye out as to where this Ex is living and what he is doing as well since you don't want him to pop into the picture as that will make your life and relationship very difficult. Then again, depending on the situation with your marriage at this point, you may or may not want to invest any additional time and effort into it as you might not be happy with how things are right now, and perhaps neither is she. You have learned about some information you shouldn't have but that you cannot ignore.

I would also stay away from her journal unless she gives you a serious reason (disappearing for hours a day or night with no legit reason) or her permission to read it.

Since you have read it, you should be cautious but don't obsess over it. Not obsessing over it is going to be the really hard part but maybe that is karma's way of teaching you not to read someone else's journal.

[removed]

[removed]