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buffy6949395 t1_j6n8dv8 wrote

Reply to comment by Silent_Impressions in My (20F) Boyfriend (19M) of 2yrs Tipped 10%. Am I Being Overdramatic? by [deleted]

I did offer to pay the 20% lol, I also told him the night before we didnt have to go anywhere fancy

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Silent_Impressions t1_j6n90w4 wrote

Ok great but hes still 19. He wanted to do something special for you on your birthday with what he could afford. I get your worried about the server but there really was no reason to bring up the tip. I mean even if you felt that the server was undertipped, just got back to the restaurant the next day and tip the server without him there. idk I'm just saying that there are better ways to handle it

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buffy6949395 t1_j6neo42 wrote

and i was 19 the day before yesterday. i love that he wanted to do something special but it was never expected or asked. i definitely agree i should have handled it better, but i just felt bad for the waitress, especially having worked as one myself

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Silent_Impressions t1_j6ngghl wrote

I completely understand. My view point is also from someone who waited tables in college. I was poor as hell but on special occasions I tried to do the best I could for the people I cared about. He likely was thinking the same.

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Misommar1246 t1_j6nio4m wrote

You’re strongarming your boyfriend over this at your birthday. Whether you approve or not, he organized it, he picked it and he can pay whatever he wants. And no, you can’t just butt in to make up for the rest. If you are paying, you can pay whatever you want but if you’re going to pressure other people into what you believe is right, you will lose them.

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idleigloo t1_j6ngsve wrote

Ok, why is he so passive aggressive that he's swearing to himself?

I totally get it. It's more than the tip. You told him your preference for your birthday and not only did he ignore it, he refused to let you make it right.

Honestly your bf does not sound compatible with me and I'd have left him. He obviously cares more about his self serving image of your birthday than listen to what you actually want.

He also made it pretty clear that he probably never intends to tip well at all. This is who he is. If you think you can make it work then try it from that angle, accepting him being cheap and suggesting to him that he let you pick up his slack...or is he just determined to short servers?

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