aelizabeth3300 t1_j6oavmd wrote on January 31, 2023 at 7:12 PM

Reply to comment by Misommar1246 in My (20F) Boyfriend (19M) of 2yrs Tipped 10%. Am I Being Overdramatic? by [deleted]

Not that I think the current american tipping system is great, but your tone here is pretty degrading to servers. a LOT of places split tips with front of house and back of house, so the chef does get tipped out, but the server is the only one making less than minimum wage. i agree the wage of the server shouldn’t fall on the customer, but that’s the way it is right now and taking your anger out on the server by not tipping isn’t going to change that fact.

Misommar1246 t1_j6ocdhj wrote on January 31, 2023 at 7:21 PM

There is nothing degrading about a reality check. 10-15% for someone bringing food to your table is absolutely generous, especially if they’re paid minimum wage. Lots of minimum wage jobs don’t get tipped and nobody bats an eye about them. I’m not angry about the issue, I’m realistic. People beating others over the head for leaving less than 20% are angry.

aelizabeth3300 t1_j6ofikj wrote on January 31, 2023 at 7:41 PM

babe. they DONT make minimum wage. average server hourly wage is usually $2-5/hr.

the degrading part is you implying serving is “just” bringing food to a table. it is much more involved and difficult than that, both physically and mentally. it combines the difficulties of regular customer service with the difficulties of manual labor all rolled into $2 an hour.

again, i agree it shouldn’t be set up this way. and trust me, most servers don’t give a shit about actually getting 20%, we just don’t like when people leave $3 on a $90 tab. also, the reason it is a percentage, however, is because generally the more you’re spending the more work you’re creating for the server (ie more food running, more people to take care of) so they should get paid more for that service.

------redacted----- t1_j6ov4un wrote on January 31, 2023 at 9:17 PM

You realize that servers have to tip everyone else out in the restaurant right? Even if we don’t make enough to tip them out, at that point we have to pay out of our own pocket. So you as a customer are NOT just tipping someone for bringing food out. Pretty small of you to think like that.

pink_gem t1_j6op7z0 wrote on January 31, 2023 at 8:41 PM

There's a lot of jobs that can be boiled to 'just doing x', but that doesn't make it reality. A server isn't 'just bringing food to the table', just like I don't 'just type words into a computer' as a software engineer.

You are absolutely being reductivistic and it is unhelpful to any other point you are making.

Misommar1246 t1_j6ouadu wrote on January 31, 2023 at 9:12 PM

I’m not though. Obviously it’s not as easy as JUST bringing food to a table but there’s a reason it’s a minimum wage job - overall it’s low skill and anyone with a couple of weeks of training can do it. Unless we’re talking about Michelin star quality of knowledge and experience accumulation, you don’t need a degree to be a waiter. I’m saying this as someone who has done it for about a year, it’s not condescending.

pink_gem t1_j6oyjmz wrote on January 31, 2023 at 9:38 PM

It's condescending to be a reductivist about this, fyi. If you tell anyone that their job is 'just doing x', it's going to come off condescending.

Take that as you want. You can't say 'it's not condescending'. You are being condescending, whether you want to be or not. If you don't want to be, change the way you communicate in the future.