Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

It seems the first thing to do is to postpone your trip.

There's two separate issues here. First, if you're only taking this trip as a way to avoid your problems, you're still going to have those problems in Asia and when you return. You're refusing to get real help. You need to.

Second, I don't really understand what your trip has to do with your mother's surgery. You've never had any sort of relationship or provided any support. So why would taking a trip matter?

That's not how emotions work

My bad, the trip hasnt been planned with any utlerior motives, I just love traveling and finally found the time and money to do so and booked the trip 2 months ago. On the other hand my mom seemed to be doing good until now but just announced to us she'll get surgery. If anything were to happen to her while i'm at the other side of the world I would feel remorseful for the rest of my life. Basically the whole problem is that my anxiety is based on "what ifs", and thinking of a future where she is in a critic situation made me think about our whole relationship again. Basically I want to change and be a better daughter AND i'm worrying about this trip were if anything happens to her I would not be able to do anything for her.

It wasn't your fault as a child not knowing how to handle the situation. Did you have at least one adult who cared for you? And it's not your fault now. You might start by talking to your mother and getting to know her personally.

[removed]