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msmongolian t1_j6l69j7 wrote

I’m sorry, but he is a classic controlling type and nothing will ever satisfy him. You’ve spent one month (in person) with this guy, and he’s already got you questioning your own self worth. He’s insecure and afraid of rejection, so he spends his time trying to erase your autonomy to prevent you from ever leaving him.

The wonderful guy you first met is real, but he’s real like the first paragraph of a book is real. It can go in many different directions from there. Now you’ve read a couple more chapters. You can remember the first paragraph fondly but with the benefit of more information, decide that the book is not for you.

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smartgirl_dumbmouth t1_j6l70ws wrote

I was afraid of that. I’m way to independent for that to happen but it does feel like he’s trying to be controlling at times. He doesn’t want me to hangout with a couple guy friends I have. Parts of me does understand this bc I have hooked up with some and have remained friends but I’m not willing to give up great friends in my life because he isn’t comfy with the idea of it

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msmongolian t1_j6ldnph wrote

The fact that he feels comfortable asking you to make all these changes so early in the relationship gives you an idea of how much he lets his insecurities run his life, and by proxy, yours. I won’t tell you to break up with him, but I do suggest living your life in accordance with your values and letting him take it or leave it. He’s the one asking you to change. If he doesn’t like you as you are, then that’s his problem, not yours.

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