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Witty-Permission8283 t1_j6p1vim wrote

People who love each other don't act like that. You're codependent. Not in love.

While you both didn't choose the mental health issues you have, you are responsible for how you act and what you do to help yourself. You admitted you're not in therapy? Why?

Are you an abuser? Yes. You hit someone. And you threatened to kill yourself to make her stay. You need inpatient care to stabilize and deal with these issues. She cannot be your therapist.

Right now in your current states, you two should not be together.

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d0ntw0rryabout1t t1_j6phsqm wrote

I agree that we are probably a bit codependent but there’s no denying we share an incredible amount of love for each other. I haven’t been to therapy recently due to not being able to afford it but I have already booked an appointment following this incident.

Also I have to make it clear that I was already feeling suicidal this wasn’t a ploy to make her stay. I can think rationally now and see how dramatic and ridiculous it all is now but it’s not the first time I have felt extremely suicidal and wanted to act upon it. I will admit the guilt from hurting her and my loneliness made me try to jump out the window as I felt I was a horrible person and did not want to live. I am aware I need help. Have needed it since I was a kid but had emotionally neglectful parents. We both have past trauma and need help to grow as people. Hopefully we can be together again one day but right now I agree that it’s too toxic and harmful.

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Reasonable-Newt-8102 t1_j6p1j4u wrote

Do you two love each other or are you trauma bonding? Maybe push pause on the relationship so you can work on yourselves. Some time away might give you some great insight

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throwRA_kak t1_j6p51pu wrote

Absolutely sounds like trauma bonding to me too. It's incredibly unhealthy and the relationship is doing more harm than good. It's physically abusive, emotionally manipulative (in many ways), and emotionally abusive. By triggering each other's trauma responses and the fact it's escalated to physical contact and suicidal ideation, it's imperative both seek counseling to work on healing and deal with their anger issues. For both their safety, they should separate to avoid adding more trauma to an already horrible situation

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Space_Kitty69 t1_j6p0lvr wrote

If you both can put hands on each other, y’all don’t love each other. It doesn’t matter if you “have a low tolerance for someone’s emotional state,” or whatever, if you actually love a person, you care and don’t get mad. It seems like y’all just want company.

People who love each other don’t hurt each other.

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badbreathbandit t1_j6pczxv wrote

You hit her, so yes you are an abuser. Whats next? Stabbing her? If you go into a fit of rage, what is stopping you from using weapons against her? You both need to put this relationship behind you. You are both too broken to handle eachothers trauma. If you continue this relationship, one of you will end up dead.

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