You hit her, so yes you are an abuser. Whats next? Stabbing her? If you go into a fit of rage, what is stopping you from using weapons against her? You both need to put this relationship behind you. You are both too broken to handle eachothers trauma. If you continue this relationship, one of you will end up dead.

Honestly, flirting online when you are single is harmless fun. Also, you arent giving him the attention he wants, but you maintain that you are open to fixing the relationship, its gotta be a bit confusing to him having to deal with this.

Now, I understand how you feel, but if you are as open to fixing things as he is, I would ask him about her and let him explain himself before you just dissappear.