Submitted by ThrowRAhfbsnjsfjif t3_10q75ob in relationship_advice
my boyfriend of almost 2 years (in a few days) called me irrational when i found out he “baby talks” his girl best friend. calling her “her name but in baby voice/text baby🥺💗” well… i told him that is not okay and that i’m making a boundary in our relationship that that is not allowed. he claimed she is like a sister and he does talks to his sisters that way. i trust there is nothing between them but i still feel disgusting that he chose to do that. he told me “this is just as irrational as when you didn’t want me hanging out with ex girl best friend” (he would hangout hours on end, up to ten hours, would drive to see her and not me (granted she lived 30 mins from him and me two hours) and they would text all the time and he would always be texting her while we were together, laughing at here texts.) i told him it made me uncomfortable how much time he spent with this single straight girl. we got into so many fights about it because he told me i was being controlling and to just trust him. (while he’s already lied to me about so much, including topics with girls)
anyway, he told me “please dont use boundaries to control me in the future” and then later the next morning i needed reassurance and said “just so we’re on the same page, you won’t be baby talking to her right?” and he rolled his eyes and said “oh so i just have to talk to her like a robot?!” as if there is no other in between option… claiming “all the guys (in his and her friend group) talk to her that way.” and “i dont want her to feel weird that i talk to her different all of a sudden after x years of friendship.” i said, you’re having sex and want children with me not her so suck it up. (in a much more polite wording)
he lied to me about hanging out with ex best friend (not the baby talk one) and deceived me saying he was with someone else and when i caught him in his lie, he told me “no i told you” and tried to make me believe he told me. he also has lied about going to smoke at random girls (that he just met) dorms in college. she ran into us doing laundry and said “oh hi bf name that was so fun the other night, so and so wanted your snapchat because you guys were getting along!” it took him a few mins to even acknowledge me in the room and introduce me. he told me he lied because he didnt want me to worry. i got so angry and he told me “ oh so im not allowed to have friends who are girls!?!?”
always pins the lies on me somehow
he blames all the lying on “you would react a certain way and id rather avoid going through that” when in reality im only reacting this way because of the lies.
MORE backstory (not the same story)
he also knew i had trauma with the subject of porn (nothing wrong with it, just experienced something in my own life which hurt) and offered to not watch it early in our relationship which i did NOT ask of him. we both promised each other not to though because i thought it was a very kind gesture towards me. a year later he confesses he’s been watching it at least once a week (probably more) and there had been countless times i asked for reassurance “are you watching?” (i was not by the way, kept my promise. i needed the reassurance because of his constant lying so i couldn’t trust he wasnt) and he would say “i pinky promise you im not” well, that hurt to find out all those pinky promises were deceiving. especially because he knows how much they mean to me and that one of the reasons i broke up with my ex was bc they always broke promises. well, he blamed me for how i reacted to him saying this saying “why cant you just trust me now that ive told you everything (every lie)?!?!?” (a week after i found out)
fellas, ladies, is there any salvation here. am i stupid to try and fix this. my dad told me hes gonna cheat.
obviously this is reddit and anyone can give their honest opinion but please dont call me stupid because i know its a little stupid, all of this. lmao. thank you for taking the time to give me any advice if you do :) this is all causing me enough pain
AutoModerator t1_j6o7ujt wrote
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.