About 2 weeks ago I (20tf)travelled about 6 hours to go on a date with a guy I’m going to call Steve (19m). There was some travel delays on the way, but it didn’t matter too much and I arrived not to long after I meant to. We are both uni students, so we vibed at his place before going out for the evening. I stayed the night and we partook in activities that evening and the next day. I very much enjoyed being in his company and we had very good communication. When it was time for me to go, we packed my stuff up and left to take the bus to the station, but when we were on the bus, shock and horror, I had left my laptop behind! We quickly organised that I would buy postage and that he would post it, with us both understanding that I had exams next Wednesday. The journey back was not very chobblesome, lots of delays and I ended up at home much later than I wanted to, but either way I got back home.

The next day (Friday) we called in the evening and I bought the postage and he agreed to post it the next day, as the post office was closed at this point.

On Saturday, we texted in the afternoon and he said that he had packed it, but he had hurt his leg and didn’t think he could make it to the post office. I asked if he knew anyone who could post it instead and he said that he had messaged someone, but they had not replied yet. I paid for some bubble wrap he bought for it and he said that he’ll post it tomorrow if his leg was healed.

On Sunday he only replied to my follow up after the post office had closed and said that his friend couldn’t post it as they were out of town. He said that he had a house viewing the next day so would wake up in time for that and would post it then.

On Monday I was starting to get really worried as my exams were on wednesday and I still didn’t have my laptop. He messaged me in the evening again and said that his leg still hurt and his house viewing was moved to the next day. He said that he would ask someone else to post it for the next day. At this point my exams were days away and I had resorted to using school computers and a friend’s laptop to study.

On Tuesday I was getting really worried, he replied to my message in the evening, saying that his leg still was bad but he had contacted a friend to post it the next day.

On Wednesday, the day of my first exam, he only replied to my message at 9 at night, saying that his friend had picked it up and was going to post it the next day. I also feared that he had sold it or something, as earlier I had given him its password so he could send me my notes.

On Thursday, the day of my second exam, he finally admitted to me the truth after I told him that it had not been posted (I had tracking). He had not contacted anyone and his foot had been fine for days. Apparently he had been struggling with depression and hadn’t left the bed really in days. He said that he spoke to his therapist and they said that him lying to me probably was adding to his stress. When I tried to call him, he said that he was out with friends so couldn’t call, but that he would post it asap.

At this point I was basically done with him, so I said that if he had the energy to go out, he could post it the next day. I also sent an audio nesssge that basically underlined my feelings on the whole thing: extremely frustrated, disappointed, but happy he didn’t steal it or anything.

He tried to post it in the next two days, but in both cases he wasn’t able to due to getting there too late, or not bing able to print label. My original postage ran out, so I had to buy another one. The next day, my trust had completely run out. Previously I had asked for a photo of it, but now I wanted to know if he had actually packaged it, so I asked for another photo. Then when he went to the bus stop to get into town, I asked for a photo to verify he was actually at the bus stop, which he again obliged after some clarification. Finally he posted it and I received it a few days after due to delays.

So, I did get my laptop in the end, fully functioning. We haven’t talked for about a week now but he messaged me a few days ago. Should I reply? I’m very frustrated with him, but I can somewhat understand what he went through, as I also have issues with lying (although my problem doesn’t apply to seeking advice such as in this). However, I would never put someone through the amount of stress that this whole thing put me through, and I’ve had similar depressive episodes that have put me in bed for days. Besides my exams, I was also dealing with overdue assignments, family shit, and the toll of recently coming out as trans. I don’t think it was malicious, but still wtf?!

Summery: guy I went on a date with lied about returning my laptop and put me through a bunch a ducking stress. Should I give him a second chance or run like hell?