He wasn't into you (short of HEY LET's MAKE OUT), and sounds like you weren't into him either.

This is what dating is. You go out, you figure if you like each other, and if not you say goodbye.

This is the 'say goodbye' part.

It doesn't matter if you stay together. Child support is child support.

And 'finances and preparation' IS 'custody and child support'. You are very young but come on OP.

I'm not asking because I want to know - I'm asking because YOU need to know.

For the record, I'm almost 60 and I'm kicking ass. Can't speak for your mom but I imagine she's not ancient and crippled with age.

I think they'd be supportive of us doing what we want - for this reason I don't wish to take advantage of their good nature.

What? They would want you to live your life as you see fit and from that you conclude...you shouldn't? Because...that's what they would want for you? You would be taking advantage of nothing. Damn dude. Your family wants you happy.

I can't imagine it having opportunities in the same league as London.

Well I guess that's something you need to look into. Are the opportunities good enough? Relative to the quality of life? These are thing you have to look up and weigh with your wife - not me.

But from the above - and I'm just guessing here - you are reaching for any excuse to not go. Because you just don't wanna.

If that's the case, own it. Say you don't want to. If you really are of two minds, do the homework with your partner and sort it out.

Is it a big decision? Yes. Is it rocket surgery? No. Besides if you go for X years, you give it a sincere effort (and I mean SINCERE effort), and you want to go back? Go back. Planes fly round trip every day.

If only 5% of your decision will be influenced by your boyfriend, that's de minimus. It's a consideration not worth considering if you are 95% sure you are going to have it. That said, you'll have to tell him of course because he/you two will need to figure child support and custody (if you decide to keep the baby), or giving up parental rights (if you put it up for adoption). You'll also BOTH need attorneys.

Get an appointment with your PCP as soon as possible if you need to find an OBGYN. Tell boyfriend, "BF, I decided against the abortion. I'm going to have the baby."

What should you do? Do your homework.

Look into the demand of your particular job in Canada. Could you be paid just as much if not more in Canada? Do you know? I don't! Maybe find out. Can you work remotely? Same job but different location?

Your relationship with your mom - how much of that can be FaceTime, Zoom, letters, emails, texts? How much of your guilt is her whining and worry and guilting you and how much of it is you honestly wanting to stay? Figure that out. Is she in her 60s or in her 80s?

You want to stay in the UK because your 'relatives will get old'? Well sure, they will get old. But are they going to get crippling old in the next three years? Is everyone on their last legs? 'Will get old some day' is not the same as 'are very old now'.

And how would your family feel about you putting your life (and your wife's and your kid's lives) on hold for XX years?

Point being, sit down and think about it. Write a list. Do your homework, compare where you are now with where you'd be in Canada. Cost of living. Quality of life. Education for your kid. Job opportunities. And weigh it all.

You know - get your shit together and make an informed decision with your wife.

NO. How many posts do we see here that start off with 'I moved in with my SO within X weeks/months of dating and gosh now it's a nightmare and I'm stuck."

Never move in with anyone when you can only measure your time together in months and not years.

Just don't. Do not DO NOT give up your great apartment or the financial security it affords you.

You hardly know this guy. Don't be a fool.

Welp, you need to get your shit together. Picture or no picture, you have a narrow window of time if in fact you want to terminate.

You only have so long until you cannot have an abortion (laws vary). Go to/look up Planned Parenthood for unbiased support and guidance. If you do have the baby, you'll have to decide whether to keep it or put it up for adoption. If you do decide to deliver, you need an OBGYN, pre-natal care, if you smoke or drink you must stop, etc. Look up whatever maternal leave your job allows so you can get a sense of how that's going to play out.

What your boyfriend thinks is the least of your worries right now.

Good luck OP.

You don't like it. You gave it a go and turns out it doesn't appeal to you. It's fine!

I love magical realism, but you have to be willing to let go of a lot of....expectations? Previously ingrained beliefs on how books are supposed to work? I dunno.

But not every genre works for everyone.

HELL NO. Run like hell.

This is shit of the bull. I'm positive you can find a guy who will not try to steal your laptop treat you much better, who is NOT six hours away.

You are not alone in your opinion.

My god this is exhausting. Are you a bad girlfriend? I don't know because this is all about YOUR EX. who you were perfectly fine to and is now YOUR EX.

You dated this ass for six months and only three of those were worth anything. His background and childhood is all very teary but has nothing to do with you.

What you do now is stop taking to him. Stop hanging out with him. Stop crying to him or about him. Just stop. Expect nothing from him, because so far that's what you've been getting.

I'm sure you are a lovely person OP, but you are 23 not 13. You have nothing to apologize for, especially to him.

Start taking care of you and figure out why this ass is still a thing for you emotionally.

Yep, that's it. Not only are you aiming at a moving bobbing target (whether it's the head or horns or both back legs) you are on a galloping or cantering horse with a mind and cadence of its own. Maybe he gets distracted and maybe on uneven ground.

Many moving parts!

Well described. I think people don't get how the timing has to come together, and much of it is out of your control? So the best thing involved - and about the only thing you have total control over - is to have your lasso at the ready for when that perfect moment comes.

You might have something there! Polite goes a long way, People.

I've yet to see a calf separate from its mama just because it was asked.

It's called check kiting. There's a 'float' between depositing a check and the actual funds appearing in the bank. During the float, banks will allow withdrawals against the deposit.

Obviously if the funds do not come through, it's fraud.

Yes but what did it TELL you?

How did it feel to see that answer? Were you excited or bummed or what?

More than welcome. Let me know what the Magic Quarter tells you!

Here's a little exercise a therapist told me to try when I couldn't decide something, or more accurately, didn't know my own mind.

Flip a coin.

Get your quarter and pick heads you go, tails you stay. And tell yourself this is it! This is the Deciding Thing, no backsies.

Flip the coin, catch it, slap unto the back of your other hand - but don't uncover it.

Take a deep breath, remember This Is It. Pay close attention to yourself and be very aware of how you feel.

Now. Look at the answer. How do you feel? Like right now, immediately, gut reaction to the answer. Are you relieved, happy, excited, sad, bummed, annoyed you put this decision into the flip of a stupid coin?

This exercise will help you focus on how you feel and what you want. Then make your decision from a place of knowing yourself.

Good luck OP.

Disregarding everyone and everything else, what do YOU want to do?

Figure that out, and again - not taking anything or anyone else into consideration.

Personally, I think you should go. I doubt your grandpa would want you to toss aside this wonderful opportunity. Life is for the living, OP. Go on the trip.

And get vaccinated. Don't be an idiot.

To you? NO. Why in the world would you want that?

Welp, maybe he'll learn the lessons of this particular brand of Fuck Up.

Good for you for breaking up. Stop talking to him, his friend, his whatever.

A jerk, an ass, a jackhole, an idiot, a douchecanoe, a moron.

If he's just a boytoy FWB, why do you care? I'd think this is none of your business.

That said, any dude who spouted "once you bake a cake, it cannot go back to how it originally was" sounds like a tool.

YMMV.

Yes.

He went above and beyond to reassure you over something that (in my mind) was a non-issue. He had a couple of texts with someone before you guys got serious? Come on, OP. He had a life before you.

Let it go.