Strange_Rush398 OP t1_j6oiojg wrote
Reply to comment by MckittenMan in What are the signs to end a long term relationship? I'm a 26F with a 27M for 8 years by Strange_Rush398
He's not that hard working. He doesn't have the drive to motivate him. He isn't a morning person. I always have to drag him out of bed. I wish he would motivate me to get up some days. He does whatever is easiest. If it means something is extra work then he won't pick that options.
MckittenMan t1_j6olsui wrote
Well, I kind of disagree with this statement then.
>I can't ask him to change.
I think you can ask your partner to change.
When my and my GF started out, we agreed that we wanted to be the best partner possible to each-other. And that includes adapting, improving, ironing out negative characteristics, etc... all for the sake of benefiting the other.
And if we found something we couldn't do, we make an attempt at a compromise.
And for your case, a number of things I think you can request a change on.
For example:
- I always have to drag him out of bed
You doing that... is a chore to you. That is a dynamic in your relationship you don't like. A reasonable thing to address. You're not his alarm clock or Mother. He can get up out of bed on his own.
And if you found that your partner has no desire to improve the relationship, or make a more fulfilling experience to you.. then that is a good time question the relationship.
Don't be afraid of addressing what you're unhappy about. A neglect to communicate, would be contributing to the failure.
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