20 year olds are somewhat naive in life and relationships. Her brain isn’t fully developed regarding impulse control and decision making - this is something you can’t change and will effect your relationships and her actions/responses. As a 30 year old man, you’re going to deal with a lot of anxiety and stress as she grows, establishes herself/ego, and makes mistakes. That’s part of growing up…making mistakes. Y’all are clearly at different life stages.

All you can do is talk about safety and I hope her friend and she have each other’s backs.

Also, just because she came onto you, doesn’t mean you were obligated to reciprocate.