The narc I know is generous in acts of service. Not because he cares about the people, because it yields him social currency. If he wants something from you, he’ll make an effort to look like he “has your back” and is “helpful” in whatever way suits him (not you.) this is all with the intention of some “return” and “how dare you not… bc I did … for you.” For ppl he “dates” it’s for sex. For his family it’s for money and an assumed inheritance. If you say “hey, you’re in town in two weeks, when you’re can you help me pick up a new tv? My car isn’t big enough.” You’ll get ghosted and gaslighted. However, if you mention you need to take your trash out, he’ll drive 90 min to “take your trash out and help you walk the dog” when you’re literally capable of doing both. And what does he expect? Absolute adoration and anything he suggests you should jump at and you should deny him nothing. If you do? How dare you! I drove 90 min to take out your trash and you can’t do xyz for me!”

In addition, he uses it to support his own belief that he is a “good person” and that it negates anything horrible he’s done in his life. If he’s done all of these things for others, he is clearly a good person despite also being a rapist and abuser.