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healthierlurker t1_izyp9pt wrote

It’s lazy parenting and I see it so much with Gen X and older millennials. My 40 y/o cousin gives her 8 year old daughter an iPad and old iPhone whenever she wants and even at restaurants just to keep her occupied. It’s just lazy parenting and we can all see how it negatively impacts the child.

I’m 29 and have two infant sons and my wife and I already decided that we aren’t giving them access to any electronics until they’re older and it will be heavily monitored.

My 31 year old brother and his 33 year old wife don’t even let their 8 month old look at screens at all, not even a TV. They’ll literally cover his eyes if they pass one. It’s excessive and I don’t agree with that level of restriction but I definitely agree with them that screen time for a child in any amount is harmful.

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lookmeat t1_izz9bch wrote

Lazy parents have always been a thing for all generations, they all show it. If you see it more in Gen X and millennial, it's more because baby boomers in their 50s forward and late Milleanials/Early Zoomers in their very early 20s tend to have less children due to age.

And it's not about lazy parenting. Certainly there's better parents and worse parents out there. It's tired parenting. We live in a society that is not friendly to having families and children. I'm glad you have made the decision to control and regulate. I hope that, when you get home after an all-hands that kept you at work until 8pm, and have the 4 year olds fighting and having a tantrum, while Mom herself is just exhausted after trying to mediate a conflict that must simply be let to happen, that you'll find the strength to not put a pause on the conflict and give them media devices, but will instead, somehow, find the strength to be a good parent at that moment too. And if you don't, please don't feel bad. It's a marathon, it's 20 years, humans make mistakes, it's about doing the best you can. And maybe it'll get hard with guests, I've certainly seen it where the guests themselves get uncomfortable (but guess what, kids are rude, inconsiderate, and waaaay to energetic, it's easy to judge hard to actually do).

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PopPopLolliop t1_izzmv5l wrote

Please come back in 3 years and tell us if you made it…

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TheRiverOtter t1_j022gb6 wrote

It's brutal, and sometimes it feels like having one arm tied behind your back.

Our twins will be 6 soon. Starting at about 4 and a half they get 30-60 minutes free time on their iPad a week, but in the last few months they can also use reading apps on them with mom or dad daily if they'd like. We've been consistent, and they rarely ask / whine about getting more time. We don't watch TV (aside from Planet Earth and similar shows every couple weeks), and we are just now starting to introduce movies.

The movie thing is mostly because that's almost certainly going to be a part of sleep-overs and we want them to have the concept of long-form entertainment during social gatherings. It may have backfired a bit with one of them, he's very emotional and isn't desensitized, so he can just about handle the tension in Disney's 1961 Incredible Journey.

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healthierlurker t1_j026pt0 wrote

This sounds like how I’d like to do things with my twins. I don’t want them to be repressed and weird, and I also think it’s important they are familiar with technology, but I don’t want to cross the line of giving them unfettered access or plopping a screen in front of them to just shut them up either.

Tbh I think the way my parents handled us wasn’t right either and I would spend hours and hours on video games but there were other games I think were appropriate too (Freddy Fish, Pajama Sam, for instance).

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