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Bee-Banana OP t1_j9dctd4 wrote

Every time I keep apologizing or trying to make up for it (aka: saying I'll trade and breed pokemon for him, or even that I'll grind on his account for him till he gets back, or even completely restart mine too) he gets madder and tells me to "fing drop it"

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Trouble_in_Mind t1_j9dkkdw wrote

Let me put it this way - I have a tendency to over-apologize or try to push solutions for a problem when I perceive there is one.

This horribly frustrates some of my friends. Often, my insistence is only making the situation worse and more stressful.

Stop messaging him about it for now. If he's really having a bad trip, stressing further over the Pokemon thing isn't going to help. You can talk about it when he gets back, and that'll be okay.

You've already offered to give him Pokemon, which is nice, but I know some people aren't down for that. I appreciate you gave the suggestion that you could also reset and the two of you can start over fresh together.

And if he doesn't go for any of those, that needs to be okay. It won't be easy and you'll likely still want to "fix" it...but that isn't always the answer. You two can play more games together. ❤️

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OrphanSkate3124 t1_j9dly6w wrote

Let him be then, stop bringing it up. Give him space to breathe and think, or you’re only going to make things worse. Destroying something someone spent a lot of time on and was planning on spending a lot more is brutal, and what you are doing now is trying to assuage your own guilt at what you’ve done to make YOU feel better, not help him

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nobervu t1_j9earnw wrote

Stop mentioning it / bringing it up unless he does. He said he doesn't want to talk about it, but you keep shoving it in his face.

Yes, he has a right to be pissed. Most likely he'll eventually get over it, but you continuously bringing up just because you feel guilty is making it worse. Stop.
If he valued your relationship he will get over it pretty quickly, but that's not going to happen if you -keep bring it up-.

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AConcernedParent t1_j9dhdl3 wrote

Just give him space for now. He’s not having a good time on his trip but he will calm down. It’s just a game. My brother has deleted a few saves of mine in the past and I just let enough time go by where I forgot and then replayed the games in question. Don’t beat yourself up too hard pal.

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CrossXFir3 t1_j9f5gtq wrote

Then drop it. Sometimes bringing it up, even if you really are sorry isn't the correct way to handle the situation. He may simply not want to think about it.

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SkyrimIsForTheNerds t1_j9fcz9d wrote

Good gravy, listen to your damn boyfriend instead of thinking you know better what he wants than he does. You bringing it up constantly is just reopening the wound for him and of course he’s getting mad again. Give him time to mourn the time he’s wasted on the game before he realizes the time he’s really wasted has been in this relationship.

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to7m t1_j9i4d0s wrote

This style of apology would seem to be actively breaking a boundary he's trying to set. If the apology is actively making the recipient feel bad, then stop!

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Pinball-Gizzard t1_j9derl4 wrote

Put it this way, if he's the kind of guy who doesn't get over an honest mistake then you've got a bigger issue afoot.

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