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GsTSaien t1_j8hoojh wrote

Reply to comment by ValorousSalmon in TIFU by not telling my partner about my intimate life in the past by HereckMistwalker

He did fuck up by witholding this information, but not by staying friends.

He should be upfront about it with possible new partners and find someone who it doesn't bother.

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Alittlemoorecheese t1_j8khpo6 wrote

No? Why would this be the only sexual relationship that must be disclosed? By that logic, everybody should disclose their past sex life without ever being asked.

She's over-reacting. Nothing he has done in the past should determine their future together.

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GsTSaien t1_j8kn72d wrote

Any past sexual relationship should be disclosed if relevant, as is the case when you are still friends with past partners.

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Alittlemoorecheese t1_j9x2fib wrote

How is it relevant?

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GsTSaien t1_j9x2nwf wrote

If you are still seeing the people you were sexually involved with, that is a variable that your partner should know. It is not your call to decide if your partner is ok with that or not. You can break it off with someone who is not ok with it if you want, but you don't get to decide ir they are comfortable with that or not. By not telling them something important like that, you rob your partner of their right to decide how they feel about that.

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Alittlemoorecheese t1_ja0ff6i wrote

There are two people in a relationship. Things can remain "personal" to either party in the relationship until the relationship develops further. This includes sexual history.

"Getting to know you" is not the same as "You must tell me everything now." Not to mention you would be basing everything on something you arbitrarily made up and are expecting someone to guess what that made-up thing is. Crimes? Work history? Dental records?

People aren't stock lined up for you to evaluate.

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