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Heress_Johnny t1_j7a5kfy wrote

That legit sounds like anxiety. You're overthinking your past situation with this girl so much that when she's there in person, it causes you internal panic. Rest assured it's not love, but mentally this clearly has taken a toll on you. Either you talk it out with her about your falling out (easier said than done) or you just avoid contact (not healthy either). Good luck!

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demiurgent t1_j7aufyv wrote

Agreed! OP, you're not describing the heart flutter of a crush, you're describing a panic attack. You're fixating on her so much, your subconscious sees the situation as a threat and is putting your body through a simulated near death experience. Problem is without an actual threat to work through, it's just unpleasant.

Strongly recommend you look into resources for dealing with social anxiety. You're currently only reacting to her presence, but if you keep on, you'll react to the possibility she might be present, then to the memory of previous reactions and eventually you'll just have this reaction every time anyone sits next to you anywhere and it will ruin your life.

Source: diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder and suffered through escalation for decades before I knew what was going on. On the bright side, it's fixable. You just have to put in some effort.

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Show-Representative OP t1_j7b40jo wrote

Holy shit. I never even thought about my entire situation being like this. This is the perfect explanation of what's happening to me. Unfortunately that's not a good thing, huh. I myself have come to realize that I have to get some closure, and just work on improving myself mentally and physically. Thanks so much my dude.

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