When I was in high school, I had a cough that hurt so bad that every time I coughed or sneezed I literally screamed in agony. So I started holding in the cough like a fool.

After a day of this I was having trouble breathing so I finally let myself cough. It was the most disgusting loud gurgling bark. I horked up an entire mouthful of phlegm and blood. Scabrous and green.

Suddenly, after the agony died down, I felt so much better. I probably should have gone to the hospital because I definitely had pneumonia but I figured, if it was coming out, there wasn't much they could do for a viral lung infection. It worked.

I was back at school the next day with a trash can sitting next to me to spit my green lung butter out. One teacher complained but the class had my back and told her to leave me alone so she did.

Apparently I grew up in a different time, I don't think I'd get away with that now.