Submitted by ThrowRAfoodie_76 t3_11od6zi in tifu

A lot of you guys have been asking me for an update. So, I am making one and be done with it. First of all, those who asked how can one person eat a medium pizza. Well, I have a really big appetite. (don't judge). Also whenever I decide to go to that pizzeria I only eat a small bowl of salad that night and nothing else. Plus they have thick crust on pizza and I don't like to eat the crust. I like the pizza because the sauce is impeccable. Also, to those who asked why I hid from him. I just didn't want him to make a fuss about me going out at night. I don't think this is controlling like many of suggested. He just cares about me a lot and worries. Plus, I didn't want to wake him up in the middle of the night just to tell him where I am going out to eat pizza or have him being worried too much about it.

So, onto the update, I decided to tell my husband, Dave everything. I even decided that when he comes home, I will take him to that pizza place and talk to the owner, Saul (fake name). Usually my husband comes home by 6pm but that day he texted me and said he will be late and not eat dinner without him. I was confused and scared. He came home at 9pm. He wasn't empty handed he had 3 boxes of pizza for us. One of which was meat lovers pizza which I like. It was from Saul's place. He sat me down and told me when he found the receipt his mind went on a rampage of imagining worst possible scenarios. He went to the pizza place to see if it is true or not. He went there by himself and some of the staff recognized him. I know some of the staff there and they know my husband too because I do talk about my family to them sometimes when they are making my pizza. He also met the owner. Saul confirmed that I would sometimes come to his shop to eat alone. Dave and Saul chatted for a while and he also gave a discount on the pizza and gave us free cheesecake and gelatos. Now, he was a little serious. He said he doesn't mind if I go out and eat some pizza in the middle of the night. He understands that sometimes we just need some space. He is upset that I hid this from him which is understandable. He made some valid points too. What if sometime happened to me and he gets call from the police. It would create a huge drama. What if in the middle of the night he or the girls wakes up and doesn't find me. It will obviously scare him. What if the girls needed me and there was an emergency. I now understand it better that I should have just informed him about these nightly outings of mine. I apologized for not telling him and putting him in a position that sounds affair-y. I also explained that I didn't want him to worry about me. And also, I did thought about telling him about it before but I just didn't know how to approach it. I mean doesn't sound weird when I say "hey babe, when everyone goes to sleep I sneak out and eat pizza alone." Dave and I both laughed. He also apologized for doubting me in the first place. He said I do not have to worry so much about it. And if I ever have these midnight cravings, I can just leave a note at his nightstand. That way if he ever wakes up he knows where I am and where to find me in case of any emergency. And also told me I can order in if I want to.

Well, then we had our pizza dinner with our girls who were really happy to eat pizza. Dave bought a large one for me. A medium is good but it is hard for me to consume a large one. Dave said he might check this pizza place alone sometimes because it is literally the second time he is eating there. After we were done, I put my girls into bed and we adults enjoyed some of the gelatos with each other and later off each other. 😉 So that's just it. No drama, no fighting. I decided that I would order in sometimes. Though I like walking there, I also love being lazy sometimes. Also to those people who are saying that I am cheating on my husband and me going out to eat without telling him is similar to cheating, you guys really need to chill. Yeah, I am having an affair with meat lovers pizza, Ya happy? I agree there was miscommunication from my part but you guys are really stretching this thing for absolutely no reason at all. I am also baffled by some people thinking that just because I hid this from my husband I can hide an affair too. That is some serious accusation. Also to those who said my husband is controlling or abusive, hold your woke horses. My husband is loving and caring. He doesn't control me or stops me from doing something I want unless it is bad or harmful. This was a mistake from my part and his reaction was normal for anyone in the situation. Don't judge a relationship that you are not part of it. We sorted this out like an adult. I hope in future it will be one of those memories we will laugh about.

TL;DR: Talked to my husband and sorted everything out. I am still going for the pizza.

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Comments

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Brandanpk t1_jbs26oz wrote

Who the hell was questioning being able to eat a medium pizza to yourself?

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Auroraburst t1_jbs4azq wrote

I'm glad it worked out but damnit, now i want pizza!

I have to admit I've gone for a late drive once or twice to get a sundae or just browse kmart but i do always warn my partner.

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cyborg998466 t1_jbs80ev wrote

It amazes me people think eating a medium size pizza is a great feat. I can eat it and I'm not a big guy. But then again it also depends what pizza chain made the pizza, not all medium pizzas I can finish and that's because of the chain they're from

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crazyhopelessguy t1_jbsqq0q wrote

Yeah I used to work at a restaurant that had a pretty broad menu. Everything from burgers/steak/ribs to salads and some Asian and Indian inspired dishes. We did have pizza on the menu, 2 sizes, 8 inch small, 10 inch large. 10 inch is NOT a large pizza. But it was meant to be ordered and eaten as a meal by one person.

So if a medium is like 10 or even 12 inches I can totally see a hungry person eating the whole thing.

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Plus_Inevitable_771 t1_jbssv60 wrote

DAMMIT!. Now I gotta order a meat lovers pizza today. It has been a while.

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I-Passed6789 t1_jbstcwo wrote

Oh yeah baby, have a full on affair with that pizza of yours. The only infidelity I support.

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adibork t1_jbsy4qr wrote

I would do this!!! Moms get so tired of caring for others!!!! You’re so lucky to have a hubby!!! All I ever wanted was what you have. I’ve only met narcissists one after the other. Enjoy each other!!! Lovely ending!!!

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thepurplewitchxx t1_jbt0r4a wrote

This is the most wholesome update that I’ve read in a while. And now I want pizza.

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staroura t1_jbt214y wrote

Were people really saying that going out to eat pizza by yourself is cheating? That’s fucking ridiculous

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Haunting_Diver_9178 t1_jbt4znx wrote

I'm really glad the pizza dough for tonight's dinner is already proving, you've made me hungry.

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Polybutadiene t1_jbt5zcm wrote

right? all anyone really wants is that we all practice safe pizza consumption. like meeting up with a blind date, let ppl know where youre going and wash your hands and check the bottom of the pizza for bugs. things everyone should do go practice safe pizza habits.

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Polybutadiene t1_jbt6ahq wrote

“i want a strong, independent woman” until they marry, then you cant be independent anymore lol. autonomy and having no one depending on you is just a luxury you sacrifice for a family at some point.

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farrenkm t1_jbtmt9f wrote

Sounds like you're learning communication skills, which is good. I didn't see your first post, so I don't know how old your marriage or your kids are. But communication is essential.

I don't much care what my wife does, so long as she lets me know. Not to be controlling, but to make sure she's okay. Our classic story is, I used to work nights. I'd call her around 7:30 PM just to check in, see how her day was, etc. (This is before cell phones were popular, 1998.) 7:30PM rolls around, no answer. No big deal. 8:00PM, no answer. 8:30PM, no answer. I'm getting concerned, because she has a medical history. I was doing ambulance dispatching and had a good relationship with the 911 center, so I called nonemergency and asked if there'd been any medical calls at her work or around our place. No, nothing. 9:00PM rolls around and I still can't reach her. I call my FIL (same town), who offers to come pick up my keys. In the meantime, 911 offers to do a welfare check. I said yes to both offers.

My FIL and SIL come and get my keys and they head to our place. In the meantime, 911 calls home and finally gets my wife. "Hi, this is Washington County 911. Your husband is really worried about you, so we were checking to see if everything was okay." They called off the welfare check, but I couldn't call off my FIL (no cell phone).

I found out she'd had a busy day, she was relaxing watching the Olympics, and she turned off the ringer on the phone in the bedroom. By sheer coincidence, during a commercial, she heard another phone ringing. She was a little annoyed, but when I pointed out this was our pattern and now there was a break in it, she understood. In the future, if she wanted to go to bed early, she just told me that, and no worries.

If she's had a hard day, fine. If she were to want to go get pizza, fine. If she wants to spend time with friends until 2:00AM, fine. I don't care, she can do what she wants, and I fully trust her. I just want to know so I'm not worried about whether she's okay or not.

We've been married 25+ years and together for 30+ years, so something's going right.

Edit: This really makes it sound like it's a one-way street. It's not. I tell her where I'm going as well and what time I expect to be home. Bidirectional communication. We'd already had pretty good communication in the past, but due to recent circumstances, it's gotten even better in the last two years. I just need to know she's safe and she needs to know I'm safe.

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SnowGlowss t1_jbubc21 wrote

Sounds like you two are closer now Happy to hear everything went okay

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thesqrtofminusone t1_jbufbli wrote

I want a really good pizza place 5 minutes walk from me that is open until 3am, that sounds awesome.

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mkculs t1_jbuh898 wrote

The one thing that doesn’t sound right—you say he doesn’t control or stop you unless something is bad or harmful. Who decides that, and who makes the final judgment? Many controlling people claim to maintain control out of “concern,” when all it is, is controlling.

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techsinger t1_jbuw5kz wrote

Thank you for the update. You have a very healthy relationship with your husband. Every marriage encounters bumps in the road along the way. It's how you handle them that determines the strength of your relationship. You and your husband came through this with flying colors! Have fun and enjoy yourselves and your daughter. Time flies!

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harleyspoison267 t1_jbvvm46 wrote

Yeah to be honest I'm a young woman and I agree with this completely. I think to certain people on the outside it looks like my fiance is controlling because he'll occasionally call kind of intensely worried about my whereabouts. The reality is, we both have really weird and inconsistent schedules with our jobs, so if one of us doesn't know where the other is for an extended period of time or we miss our regular check-ins, it's easy to grow concerned (I drive a lot in the northern US for my job and he's a bartender so there is a small element of danger involved). I don't call as often, but I will text randomly when we're apart, and if I don't at least get a text by midnight, I do start to get concerned as well.

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I-Passed6789 t1_jbxs4dr wrote

If you live in a big city it is possible. A friend of mine lives in new york and they have these pizzerias that are open till 3am. Unfortunately, the nearest pizza place is 20 minutes away from where I live that's why uber eats is my best friend.

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Rasgara t1_jcns1rh wrote

i can eat at least a half in one sitting if its alone time. Sometimes its just to clear your head. You need you time even if its with a pizza. :) But do try to leave a note or something just in case, otherwise enjoy your time to yourself. At least you make sure everyone is taken care of first so you know you can fully relax instead of being on edge. Glad your SO understands. You do you, moms need a break sometimes(M of 2 kids).

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theepi_pillodu t1_jcnzhk1 wrote

Only free suggestion I can give is, just leave a message where you're going.

In my childhood, if my parents are gonna be late andi have to leave them a message, I would write it down on a piece of paper and leave it at the main door (pre-cellphone age). First time I did this, my mom said it was a smart idea.

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