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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdf2oox wrote

Reply to comment by Indy997 in TIFU by losing my temper at school by Madeline2535

Ya my principal was all like ohh you got physical blah blah

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ricottapie t1_jdfeqzo wrote

I know that no one wants to be the one to say this, and principals don't want to be the ones to hear it, but it's the truth: she started it.

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Duffman66CMU t1_jdfy1lr wrote

Sure. She kicked a chair and laughed. Is that the same as punching in the face? Is this how we want to teach young people to react when someone annoys them?

Perhaps this young person could advocate for themself and move their chair out of reach. Perhaps they could consult the teacher. There are many other things that this student could have tried, but because they feel overwhelmed, they jumped right to the last resort.

That is where the principal’s coming from. Was what the other kid did wrong? Yes. Was it suspendable? No. Fighting is.

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ricottapie t1_jdg1eq3 wrote

I'm not saying that violence is the answer, just that it matters who started it. Zero-tolerance treats all involved as equal perpetrators, and that's not always the case. It's important that the principal knows that she didn't start whaling on the other girl unprovoked.

Honestly, I sympathize a bit more with teachers and administrators now that I'm older. Their hands are fairly tied, and zero-tolerance policies don't help. They're often met with resistance from parents who are bullies themselves or who simply don't believe their child would ever behave that way. Sometimes the parents struggle with disciplining them at home. In-school issues don't always occur in isolation. It can be a layered thing. I just wish more could be done for those who are targeted.

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Indy997 t1_jdjqtos wrote

For sure, I really feel bad for the school staff who's hands are tied with the unjust policies.

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Indy997 t1_jdjqqds wrote

  1. She specifically said the kicking hurt, so yes return pain with pain it's the only thing bullies understand. Crying to teacher isn't going to do anything but maybe a small temporary reprieve.

  2. I don't know what school you went to but unless you are in the front row there is nowhere to meaningfully move your desk to since they are crammed in rows.

  3. Kicking a students chair repeatedly to the level it hurts and refusing to stop is absolutely be suspendable. Or at a minimum a week's in school suspension or detention.

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CalvinHobbes101 t1_jdjupjf wrote

Unfortunately, the principal is a bit like the HR departments that you'll come across later in life. They're there to protect the institution from you, not to protect you from anything.

I can't condone your actions because resorting to violence is generally not the best solution. I'm not going to condemn them either. Your teacher should have been paying enough attention to the class to notice you telling the other student to stop the first time and intervene at that point.

As for your parents, emotions are high in the immediate aftermath of something like this. If they are the kind of people who are willing to listen when they're calmer, talk to them over the weekend and explain what happened as calmly as you can. Explain that the teacher didn't notice and intervene when you asked the other student to stop initially.

That all said, you stood up for yourself and made it clear you're not an easy target for their BS. Hopefully, because of that, they'll leave you alone in the future.

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