TIFU by losing my temper at school

Submitted by Madeline2535 t3_11zvral in tifu

I’ll start this off by saying I’m a 16f and this happened in school today. I was in my class and this girl kept kicking the back of my chair and it was hurting my back.

I turned around and told her to stop doing that and she just started laughing and a couple minutes later started kicking my chair again. I was already annoyed about other things happening in my life and I got up and hit her in the face, kids in my class were yelling and my teacher just ran over and pulled us apart from each other.

My teacher only saw what I did and we got sent to the principals office. I gave this girl a cut on her lip and my principal told me that I was the one who took it too far and got physical.

My school gave me an out of school suspension for 5 days and my dad had to come and get me. He was losing it on me and only made me feel even worse. I’m not allowed to go out at home until this is over too.

This was definitely one of my biggest fuckups and I feel so stupid for losing my temper and getting myself into this.

TL;DR: TIFU by losing my temper on a girl kicking the back of my chair in school, punching her and getting an out of school suspension for a week.

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Comments

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alglobal t1_jdehbbs wrote

Don't worry about it. Life is full of fuckups. You live with it. It passes.

120

OneMindNoLimit t1_jdef36b wrote

As someone who has struggled with anger issues their entire life, I understand. The best analogy I've got for you is you're a can or bottle of soda. If something gets you worked up(shaken) it doesn't matter who does it. Whomever undoes that cap is the one getting soda all over them. That said, I know things might be tense right now, but do you think you could sit down and talk about it with your dad? I know the school won't want to hear it, but having someone to talk to really helps. If any of your friends ask, just tell them that you were stressed out, and she was the last straw and it wasn't personal.

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RunninOnMT t1_jdf3mw8 wrote

I read on here recently that "a whistling kettle never explodes." It sounded like a cool analogy and makes a lot of sense. Gotta always remember to talk through the anger when it starts building.

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SwiftzCS t1_jdesojy wrote

I regret not doing this. The trouble will fade the memory wont. Fuck that bitch.

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jadonsvd t1_jdexnxb wrote

the only fuck up was hers she fucked around and found out

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DeadGatoBounce t1_jdfsuyx wrote

Violence isn’t an appropriate response to someone being annoying

−15

Akakage t1_jdgtn69 wrote

You're not wrong, but it's a realistic one. Winding someone up to the point they snap is on both people. You'd not get pissy at a dog for snapping because someone was pissing it off, people should be held accountable and be able to exercise better patience, but we all have breaking points and can only take so much. She was also in physical pain from it, that alone can make people lash out defensively. If you've never been so angry at someone trying to annoy you to the point of lashing out then you've lived a sheltered life and not been much of (if any) a victim of bullying behaviour. She couldn't easily remove herself from the situation without getting in trouble, teachers are notoriously shite at dealing with stuff like this, she asked the person to stop being a twat, they didn't they got twatted, that's on the person being a twat.

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DeadGatoBounce t1_jdi6kqy wrote

As both someone who was bullied in high school in almost this exact scenario, as well as someone who has dealt with anger issues in life, I certainly understand OP’s reaction. As a father I would understand, but I’d also want my child to strive to measure her response. Life is going to be fill with pain and annoyance and having violence be your go-to solution for that is going to a life of misery.

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NosticFreewind t1_jdh7f7t wrote

I'm with you. I'm not saying she should have gotten into trouble or what she did was right and proper, but annoying bitch FAFO. I hope she learned.

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snowmandala t1_jdgvtbu wrote

In almost all situations there is a better solution, like juat telling the teacher that she is annoying you by doing this. Or just standing up and sitting down elsewhere. If you are good with words its also easy to make herself feel stupid for doing this.

0

DJfreecell t1_jdh7ie9 wrote

As an civil adult I agree but sadly this mentality IN MY OPINION, strictly my opinion is why scammers, liars, theives and just shitty people in general do shit and get away with it. If someone lesrns they risk physical harm on themselves for invading a person's space they are much less likely to do that act again. But once again just my opinion.

Turning the other cheek to a bully only lets someone else or your self get bullied again later. Even if they were only kicking a chair and being annoying they'll think twice before bothering someone like that again. They fucked around and found out.

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snowmandala t1_jdhf5dq wrote

Alright, but in this case it ia a bit over the top. Hitting someone in the face is much more dangerous then many realise. Better aim for other body parts. I feel like to learn that your actions were wrong you have to be punished accordingly, otherwise it is easy to see yourself as victim of the other persons crazyness.

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TripleATeam t1_jdgkt4k wrote

Insane that you're being downvoted. Escalation to violence is an appropriate response to some things, but being annoying is definitely not one of them. It might be some people's first instinct but those people need to repress that urge and learn to either use their words, ignore it, or remove themselves from that situation.

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6reen312 t1_jdgqkkj wrote

Because well all know how well using words and removing ourself from situations in school works.

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Squigglepig52 t1_jdhoitd wrote

Generally, most people, when I use my words, wish I'd just punched them in the face.

I mean, you're not wrong, but I think there's also the "what are the repercussions of me doing this" factor.

−1

Reyway t1_jdh1t0c wrote

We humans are so weird. Wonder what the annoying person was expecting to happen.

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Adal-bern t1_jdhlxlp wrote

The other person wasnt just being annoying though. They were still kicking the op in the back, just because there was a small plastic barrier between her foot and the ops back, op said it was still painful. I agree that violence vs annoyance is uncalled for, but op was being kicked, asked them to stop kicking her and got laughed at.

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ErikTheAngry t1_jdijjfs wrote

OP asked them to stop, they didn't. They took enjoyment in aggravating the OP. They earned that split lip.

Next time they decide to deliberately provoke someone, perhaps they'll consider this event first.

There's a wonderful little exchange in Mr. Inbetween, where he's in anger management and they're asking him why he beat up some asshole teenagers:

They were being assholes.

Well sure... but the world's full of assholes.

Yea, you know why? Because we let them.

-

Problems don't get fixed until we start to deal with them. This is how you deal with assholes.

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__Dystopian__ t1_jdfwnsj wrote

You have obviously never witnessed the efficiency violence has when it comes to putting an immediate end to someone being annoying.

And your comment should be:

Violence isn't always the appropriate response to someone being annoying. Speaking in absolutes is both ignorant and naive.

Edit: after some thought, I've realized this isn't the approach to life I'd like to teach my kid. That might be fucked up. I mean, protect yourself and others with a good ass kicking if need be. But...yeah. you're right. We should talk things through more. Well. I still believe violence has an appropriate place in some situations. I do agree that it shouldn't be a go to in most cases. Not when you can walk away, or at least publicly shame them for being a turd.

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FerrisTheRed t1_jdga0la wrote

There's a difference between "violence is not an appropriate response" and "violence is not an effective response." Violence absolutely can be effective. That does not make it appropriate.

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6reen312 t1_jdgqure wrote

Tell that the girl that offed herself cuz noone helped her in school when she got bullied for weeks and noone did a thing. Yes, violence fucking sucks but when it comes to schools these days you are either are prey because the only thing you do is use words or you are not because ppl know it will hurt when they fuck around with you. And ppl won't stop if you walk away or talk to them. I am not saying this is good but this is sadly how it is.

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DJfreecell t1_jdh87z5 wrote

100% this. I got bullied in middle school and my mom always preached turn the other cheek. Talk it out bla bla bla. This works for most adults 20+ but I got harassed alot till I decided to fight back in high school. You'd be surprised how many ass holes love to throw punches, kick and push people around but if they get hit once they learn they can't get away with it and stop entirely.

EDIT: this girls response to someone kicking her chair was a bit much imo. But the people talking about civility must have had some privileged upbringings. Or maybe schools have changed since the early 2000s and bullying isn't as extreme or something.

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FerrisTheRed t1_jdibi0c wrote

I was unclear, I apologise. I was merely clarifying the distinction between appropriate and effective. An inappropriate response is sometimes unfortunately necessary, when the appropriate response isn't going to happen.

The appropriate response here would have been for the school to discipline the seat kicker. Detention, writing lines, whatever - actions need to have consequences. As an adult, responding to bullying with violence can see you charged with assault, or at worst, manslaughter if the target falls over and cracks her skull on a tile floor.

However.

The appropriate response was unlikely, and in my experience, that's a problem common to many, if not most, schools. Bullying gets swept under the rug, but the emotional reaction is punished. In OP's defence, I wish I had memories of punching out my bullies, and I suspect this will be a positive memory 10 years from now. That response would not have been appropriate. But damn, it would have been satisfying.

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6reen312 t1_jdix53y wrote

Oh I see now, my bad then. Totally agree with you.

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aardvark_army t1_jdftgtw wrote

Really?

−15

DeadGatoBounce t1_jdfufo1 wrote

Yeah. If I punched someone at work in the face for being an ass and laughing at me, I’d get fired at best and charged with battery at worst.

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chartyourway t1_jdfxxm7 wrote

battery would be middle of the line. if you punched them and they lost balance and hit their head hard enough when they fell, they could die. your worst in that scenario (which most people never consider, I'm not calling you out) is prison for manslaughter.

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DariusMajewski t1_jdf04w7 wrote

Bully's deserve a punch. If you were my daughter I'd be telling you good job for standing up for yourself and that 'll handle the school admins.

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chartyourway t1_jdfy3un wrote

agreed. someone needed to teach that dumb kid some consequences for her actions. maybe next time she'll think twice before being an obnoxious test.

ahem. *twat. not test

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Dragonic_Smile t1_jdere1w wrote

I dont condone violence usually but people like that deserve to be hit.

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pressabba t1_jdegix2 wrote

Tough situation cause you don't want to be labeled a narc either, so you're stuck, which is what the antagonist is planning on.

Temper aside, the person was doing something to you that hurt and you didn't like. If someone does that, simply say "don't do x" loudly, drawing attention. If it's not painful, maybe best just to move away or ignore it. Hope that helps for the future.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdemzgt wrote

I hate my school

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RunninOnMT t1_jdf3uxf wrote

It seems like it'll never end but it will eventually. Sucks to say "just have to tough it out" but you'll make make it. I too hated school.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdf6zk4 wrote

There’s a lot of kids that try starting fights here

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maciver6969 t1_jdfn7p8 wrote

I hate to say it, but some bullies only learn when you stand up and knock the shit out of them. Consider it a public service, just next time you do it make sure the action is worth the consequences. If you are gonna be suspended damn sure make those shots count.

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ricottapie t1_jdfh3rx wrote

Were you given a chance to tell your side of the story? You said your teacher only saw what you did, so I was wondering if the principal gave you a chance to explain that this wasn't some random attack.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdfkn15 wrote

I told my principal what happened, but they still decided that I was wrong

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ricottapie t1_jdfs62k wrote

Oof. Well, they do have a legal obligation to protect themselves and their students. They can't ignore someone getting a split lip in their care.

I empathize with you, though. I've been in your position (not the physical fight part), and it can be hard to know how to react in the moment. I hope you're never again in a situation where you feel like you have no other choice but to fight back.

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maciver6969 t1_jdfnivc wrote

Doesnt matter in todays schools where standing up for yourself is always wrong. Doesnt matter if there is REPEATED documented proof they are targeting you I went thru it with my son - special need autistic kid picked on daily and nothing. BUT as soon as he stands up and knocks a pos on thier ass, he is the "problem".

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ricottapie t1_jdfsv8a wrote

I know. I've been through it myself. Zero tolerance policies are garbage. I'm sorry your son keeps getting labelled. They really should be able to do more for him, and it's frustrating, especially when you do everything you're supposed to, like keeping documentation. I don't know what the solution is. :(

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maciver6969 t1_jdge93v wrote

I went the other way, I got an appointment to speak with the local media and they had a chat with the ISD on why special needs children were ok to target i their schools. Then I had a "personal" conversation with the Principle after a local football game. Real polite, real close, and very much invading his space. I simply said, I have ZERO issues with my child being suspended, but I will be very unhappy if the bully gets away with no punishment and showed him the dozens of videos of the little shit fucking with him. If you want zero tolerance then you best enforce it equally. Any time after that when ANYTHING happened with my child he would call me immediately.

As a parent we are willing to pay the price it takes to make sure our kids get a fair shake. Even if it means acting like an asshole to force the people who are supposed to be looking out for them to do their jobs.

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Southern_Celebration t1_jdm6dtw wrote

Well done, I wish more parents acted this way. School officials have a duty towards the children, but often they only think of their own comfort.

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Argenis_82 t1_jdekwaw wrote

Your parents are aholes for not taking your side in this situation. You handled it properly. You asked her to stop, and she got rude and laughed at you. After that, it is what it is. I'd never punish my son for doing the right thing. Sometimes, the right thing is protecting yourself.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdeoysr wrote

Nobody around me thinks that

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Argenis_82 t1_jdeqxe2 wrote

Sorry, OP. It might not be much, but know that THIS father is proud of ya.

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Sandman1990 t1_jdeymja wrote

Seconded. u/Madeline2535 took the mature approach to start and when it didn't work she stood up for herself and didn't take shit. I wish I had done a little more "not taking shit" in my teenage years.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdf1hu3 wrote

Thanks.

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Hawkson2020 t1_jdgmi9w wrote

As a general rule in life, it would be good to take the in-between step of talking to someone who can make that person stop before escalating to violence.

That being said, I’ve gone through high school and I know teachers may well not do anything to stop it.

In my experience staff or students stood up for me, and people only stopped fucking with me after I hurt someone badly enough. Since there was a clear paperwork trail of me complaining about that individual’s actions, I didn’t get any real punishment since it was clear the people responsible for stopping the escalation had failed in their duties.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdf93p6 wrote

My father was fucking screaming at me.

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Argenis_82 t1_jdfas69 wrote

You know, I'm all about respecting thy elders. However, sometimes thy elders need to be brought back to earth. Why don't you try and sit with him and ask him what it is that he would have done differently, aside from begging, since the approach you took wasn't the correct one? Me, personally, I see no other way.

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adrolter t1_jdfjlv0 wrote

Yup. Bullies generally comprehend one, and only one, form of communication.

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Firstcounselor t1_jdha0et wrote

That sucks bad. I’m sorry. Maybe when things calm down a bit, you could point out that you lost your cool when you hit the girl, but you feel like your dad lost his cool when he screamed at you. He isn’t exactly modeling self control.

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UnrulyNemesis t1_jdew76r wrote

They say violence is not the answer to keep people in power safe (though it should obviously be the last resort as it can lead to an escalation of the problem as you have witnessed). Just know this girl won't kick your chair again and maybe she'll even learn not to bother other kids too. It's also a very good thing you learned this lesson now that you can get in trouble for violence as in the future the punishment for such actions are much much higher. Just make sure next time something like this happens, make sure you talk to the teacher or whoever your supervisor is (after telling them you will tell on them if they don't stop), so they at least know the situation and possibly even put a stop to it before you get physical.

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Duffman66CMU t1_jdfy2te wrote

Sure. She kicked a chair and laughed. Is that the same as punching in the face? Is this how we want to teach young people to react when someone annoys them?

Perhaps this young person could advocate for themself and move their chair out of reach. Perhaps they could consult the teacher. There are many other things that this student could have tried, but because they feel overwhelmed, they jumped right to the last resort.

That is where the principal’s coming from. Was what the other kid did wrong? Yes. Was it suspendable? No. Fighting is.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdfzche wrote

Maybe she should’ve left me alone

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Duffman66CMU t1_jdfztok wrote

Agreed! But if she doesn’t, then getting yourself in trouble shouldn’t be your go to solution.

If she doesn’t leave you alone, there are other options. She was totally wrong (and a jerk) for laughing and kicking your chair. You were also wrong for punching her.

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kakocastro t1_jdgce31 wrote

You clearly never had to deal with bullies yourself. It’s not just kicking the chair. It’s everything, the constant behaviour, the laughter, the jokes. And sometimes you can’t take it anymore. And today nobody can give a snack to a kid to teach them a lesson. Saying there are other solutions is unrealistic and only someone who has never been bullied believes it. Do you know what teachers did when I complained about being bullied? They talked with the bully. And it would work for a couple of days. The first time I fought back and knocked out one of them, I became the "dont fuck with him guy". its not up to OP to educate the bully. But it is up to OP to not let people fuck with her. I dont go around hitting people now at work. because I can reason with them. As a kid, bullies didnt understand reason. they understood getting their asses kicked.

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eivind2610 t1_jdh1q1u wrote

You're forgetting the key point that the other girl wasn't just being annoying - she was physically hurting OP. She was basically doing the same as what OP ended up doing, except for longer... and less visibly. And we haven't even begun to address the bullying aspect of it yet.

I agree with you that a punch to the face was taking things too far, but what the other girl did was also taking things too far in the first place. There's often not enough room to move the chair out of reach from someone sitting directly behind you, so that's not necessarily an option. And anyone who's ever dealt with bullying in school knows that if you take it to the teacher, a few things are going to happen: First of all, the bullying will only get worse - you 'snitched', so in the bullies' mind, you've shown you deserve it. Second, the teacher is more than likely going to either not do anything, or take the bully's side. There isn't necessarily a good way out of the situation OP was in.

All that being said - you're absolutely right that OP shouldn't have punched the other girl.

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Duffman66CMU t1_jdim5fu wrote

There are probably other recourses, and maybe the ones I mentioned don’t always work, but they do have the advantage of not screwing up OPs grades and home life.

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ricottapie t1_jdfg9qp wrote

I know that they have to follow protocol, but they often do so at the expense of common sense. Someone kicks your chair, refuses to stop when asked, and continues kicking while laughing at you for trying to stop them, and you're supposed to act like it doesn't bother you? Kudos to those who are able to, but I also don't blame the ones who literally strike back.

That said, you can't just go around kicking and punching your way through life. It sounds as though OP knows this, I just want to clarify that I'm not saying that you need to knock the teeth out of everyone who looks at you sideways. It's in your best interest to learn how to handle difficult people. In some situations, ignoring them does work, and you get to preserve yourself mentally and physically. Sometimes, you just have to keep your mouth shut and let them learn on their own. And if they never learn, then, well, sucks to be them.

Edited for a missing word

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Emmas_Nana_519 t1_jdf13ra wrote

I also was bullied at school. For such a quiet girl, I got really good at projecting my voice so EVERYONE heard me when some jackalope was bugging me. “STOP PULLING MY HAIR GILBERT!!” “GIVE ME BACK MY PENCIL RACHEL!” “STOP KICKING MY CHAIR KEITH!”

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ricottapie t1_jdfgpd9 wrote

> “STOP PULLING MY HAIR GILBERT!!”

And then you broke your slate over his head.

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NerdyDan t1_jdev63i wrote

it's ok. dumb bitch wont bother you again.

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OddBeck t1_jdfohv0 wrote

Best part about this TIFU is the fact that even though you're in trouble and you can't go out, your parents forgot to take away your ability to be on the internet. Just be glad your parents are nice enough to let you have that still. If it were me, I'd get a solid ass whooping with a side of revoked privileges even if my parents sided with me. Heh

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IanFoxOfficial t1_jdfftro wrote

No no no no no. You did not fuckup.

Fuck that.

I was bullied in school 20 years ago. It only stopped when I stopped being too nice.

Fuck that teacher for not noticing everything that went down before and not listening to you.

Yeah violence is wrong, but some people won't learn until they get some sense slapped into them.

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juggernat t1_jdga3n7 wrote

Feel the feeling, but don't become the emotion.

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Indy997 t1_jdeuo6p wrote

You did the right thing, the girl took it physical first and needed to learn a lesson. Unfortunately schools have been pushing all this non-violence/zero tolerance nonsense so kids can't sort out their problems :(

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdf2oox wrote

Ya my principal was all like ohh you got physical blah blah

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ricottapie t1_jdfeqzo wrote

I know that no one wants to be the one to say this, and principals don't want to be the ones to hear it, but it's the truth: she started it.

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Duffman66CMU t1_jdfy1lr wrote

Sure. She kicked a chair and laughed. Is that the same as punching in the face? Is this how we want to teach young people to react when someone annoys them?

Perhaps this young person could advocate for themself and move their chair out of reach. Perhaps they could consult the teacher. There are many other things that this student could have tried, but because they feel overwhelmed, they jumped right to the last resort.

That is where the principal’s coming from. Was what the other kid did wrong? Yes. Was it suspendable? No. Fighting is.

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ricottapie t1_jdg1eq3 wrote

I'm not saying that violence is the answer, just that it matters who started it. Zero-tolerance treats all involved as equal perpetrators, and that's not always the case. It's important that the principal knows that she didn't start whaling on the other girl unprovoked.

Honestly, I sympathize a bit more with teachers and administrators now that I'm older. Their hands are fairly tied, and zero-tolerance policies don't help. They're often met with resistance from parents who are bullies themselves or who simply don't believe their child would ever behave that way. Sometimes the parents struggle with disciplining them at home. In-school issues don't always occur in isolation. It can be a layered thing. I just wish more could be done for those who are targeted.

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Indy997 t1_jdjqtos wrote

For sure, I really feel bad for the school staff who's hands are tied with the unjust policies.

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Indy997 t1_jdjqqds wrote

  1. She specifically said the kicking hurt, so yes return pain with pain it's the only thing bullies understand. Crying to teacher isn't going to do anything but maybe a small temporary reprieve.

  2. I don't know what school you went to but unless you are in the front row there is nowhere to meaningfully move your desk to since they are crammed in rows.

  3. Kicking a students chair repeatedly to the level it hurts and refusing to stop is absolutely be suspendable. Or at a minimum a week's in school suspension or detention.

1

CalvinHobbes101 t1_jdjupjf wrote

Unfortunately, the principal is a bit like the HR departments that you'll come across later in life. They're there to protect the institution from you, not to protect you from anything.

I can't condone your actions because resorting to violence is generally not the best solution. I'm not going to condemn them either. Your teacher should have been paying enough attention to the class to notice you telling the other student to stop the first time and intervene at that point.

As for your parents, emotions are high in the immediate aftermath of something like this. If they are the kind of people who are willing to listen when they're calmer, talk to them over the weekend and explain what happened as calmly as you can. Explain that the teacher didn't notice and intervene when you asked the other student to stop initially.

That all said, you stood up for yourself and made it clear you're not an easy target for their BS. Hopefully, because of that, they'll leave you alone in the future.

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furiousfran t1_jdev6vd wrote

I honestly wish I'd had your level of guts at that age.

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luniaRain t1_jdf49hu wrote

Good job, pat on the back from me.. if it were me and it was a guy I wouldve kicked him in the face.. but ive gotten in trouble for worse.. I also was made out to be the "one in the wrong" but the logic of just letting people fk with you without you fighting for yourself never made sense to me.. maybe something is wrong with me, or maybe theres something wrong with society, either way, I wont take shit lying down, and I applaud everyone that does the same.. people deserve to be taught that fking around with someone u dont know has consequences. Otherwise they'll grow up thinking is ok to mess with people their whole lives

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adrolter t1_jdfjbai wrote

Don't worry about it, in 10-20 years you won't regret it anymore and you'll look back on it fondly. Trust.

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thatguythatdied t1_jdg14jc wrote

While I don't think you did the right thing here, everyone learned a lesson. Call it a small win. You seem to understand that it probably wasn't the right move to get physical, and the other party got a quick batch of fuck around and find out.

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wtfwfm t1_jdg4i89 wrote

And today you learned at school that "Revenge is a dish best served cold"

It's hard to keep your anger in check but in today's society//classroom you got to think about the consequences of your actions first rather than just react.

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Sargash t1_jdgw2qc wrote

I know it's a little moot, but, it would have been a lot simpler and easier to just go 'Hey teach, this kid behind me keeps smashing their feet into my back, they've been doing it for the past 20 minutes.' Or turn around and don't confront her and be silent about it. Confront her and be obvious. "Hey, you wanna stop kicking my back like you're a 10 year old on an airplane, grow up."

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dragonmom1 t1_jdihvrz wrote

5 days of not having someone kick my chair? Priceless!

Seriously, though, when you get back to school, ask the teacher to seat you away from that person and, if you continue to have problems, talk to a teacher or the principal about it.

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SurrealGirl t1_jdf2yjt wrote

Well just be a happy you weren't arrested for assault and battery. As for the girl I doubt she'll ever screw with you again.

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Nofapstronaut6 t1_jdgcp6x wrote

Good on you for standing up for yourself. Though its better to do it without violence, I reckon the other girl will think twice before playing childish games with people in the future.

1

yearofthebows24 t1_jdgeww3 wrote

Yes, you're in the penalty box, but she got what was coming for instigating. As the great comedian Bill Burr once said, "Even hockey gives you 2 for instigating."

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Zarochi t1_jdglg2a wrote

Meh, play stupid games win stupid prizes. Good lesson for both of you. You definitely could have handled it better, but honestly I think it's pretty cool you didn't put up with her BS. I was bullied a lot in school, and some bullies just don't understand any other message.

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fuer_den_Kaiser t1_jdgo30v wrote

The only thing you could have done better was warning that bitch with a loud voice so everyone could hear that she instigated first. Other than that she was totally deserve it.

If I were your brother, I'd give you a head pat for standing up for yourself. Violence may not be often the correct answer but it's always an option.

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No_Conclusion5531 t1_jdgsz4r wrote

At least you made a point, and believe that the girl won t annoy you anymore

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Akakage t1_jdgt9cg wrote

Soo you get 5 days off of school AND make some dickhead think twice about kicking your chair again? Awesome. This is the correct and final way to deal with bullies. I regret not smacking mine in the mouth sooner, it tends to work.

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randimort t1_jdgv1x7 wrote

Always stand up to assholes and bullies strange thing is when you do they won’t bully you again as a bully only attack weakness. Sad the system won’t acknowledge this is needed response. You could not have reasoned with the girl behind you so you took action. You did not sit there and stew on it or play passive. People like you go far in life one day you will be hugely successful and chair kick girl will be working the drive through at Wendy’s. take care she don’t spit In your coke

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VG88 t1_jdgvci0 wrote

I dunno, seems she deserved it. Maybe not your best moment but you didn't just take the abuse either.

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davidgrayPhotography t1_jdh978x wrote

This isn't the end of the world. I'm friends with a lot of people who did stuff like that, and they're still here, their parents still love them, they still graduated and got jobs, and overall nothing became of it.

Schools don't like it when you fight, but they're not going to go nuclear on you for doing so either. As long as it doesn't become a regular thing that requires constant intervention, you'll be fine.

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WhyAmISoSad369 t1_jdha3ue wrote

As someone who regularly got into fights to stand up for myself, I don't regret a single one.

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tsukinohiryu t1_jdhadmg wrote

Hope they were teaching Physics because you gave an example of Action and Reaction

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Alien_Cha1r t1_jdhlc6m wrote

the best thing against bullies is violence. Smack them as hard as you can. They are insecure people trying to pick on the easiest ones, so show the highest amount of resistance you can.

Violence can be a good thing if it's used for defensive purposes

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propanenightmare69 t1_jdhn83t wrote

I don't have a quick temper, or much of one at all, but I still remember this pretty vividly.

In middle school, I was friends with two guys, (i was 13M or so at this time?) the same age. It was lunch and this kid was sitting on these concrete steps and kept scooting over and pushing me off the edge (or trying to) and singing some song from Futurama (Johnny cracked corn and bender is great was one of the lines or something). I was stressed and after the 2nd or third time of this kid pushing me off. I just stood up, grabbed his hair in one hand and punched him in the face as hard as i could with the other. He started crying and I got sent to the principals, which oddly enough still did that physical punishment stuff so I got to experience getting hit with a weird wood plank/board thing in 2005, felt a bit archaic.

I don't think we remained friends after that and he had a black eye for a few days, luckily i moved shortly after.

Anyways, point of it is, don't feel bad, this really won't be much more than a blip and a story to mention down the road. We all have a breaking point and sometimes it's just that unlucky person that accidentally got us there. You'll learn from it and likely have more restraint in the future.

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Zankastia t1_jdhp57f wrote

Learn the three strokes rule.

1st time, tell the bully to back off.

2rd time tell teacher/responsible adult and familly.

3rd time, beat the crap out of the bully. It will never be a 4th and you already covered your arse by telling the teacher.

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adlcp t1_jdhr3qf wrote

Naw you showed that bitch what was up. Maybe not a wise move for your own sake, but you did the right thing for society as a whole and put a disrespectful piece of shit in her place.

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ironperro416 t1_jdhtze8 wrote

She had it coming. Now with that start taking jujitsu classes. Expect more trouble. Head up champ. Your good

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dontkillchicken t1_jdijjfd wrote

Ya know many of us wish we coulda hit some asshole when we were younger. Past 18 you can’t really do that since if police gets involved you can be arrested and charged with assault. Make those good years last.

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Verbenaplant t1_jdimerl wrote

She should have stopped when u asked. ignore Her

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lastwhangdoodle t1_jdin410 wrote

Wow some of the replies on here...yikes. If you really want to change this maybe give therapy a serious consideration. People will annoy you in life, sometimes even purposely, but if you react with violence as an adult you're going to wind up dead or in jail.

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derpmcsterp t1_jdjvlgz wrote

Mate. I wish i did that to the kids who kicked my chair in class.

I'm actually pretty disgusted at what teachers let kids get away with. You stood up to some dickhead. Be proud of yourself for not taking it.

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Pfaeff t1_jdjx98p wrote

She fucked around and found out.

I was bullied at school for a long time. I told my bully to stop, but of course he didn't. He even bullied me during class and I couldn't pay attention even if I wanted to. One day I snapped and punched him in the face. Only once, but hard. He ran out of the classroom with a bloody nose, his best friend had to mop the floor in the corridor. He wasn't seriously hurt. No one was mad about the incident, not even the teacher. They knew and understood what I went through. The bullying stopped and we got along quite well after that.

I hate violence and this was a last resort, but some people have to learn the hard way.

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JustWantedAUsername t1_jdjze0v wrote

Hilarious. Sounds like the shithead deserved it. Unfortunately you'll find that even when deserved, physical violence will always be frowned upon.

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CanadianBeta t1_jdmp8qe wrote

Jesus! I had a similar experience around your age. The annoying guy in my class kept kicking my chair. I told him to stop and his reply was: "Like that?" and kicked again.

So, in a moment that I can't explain, I got up from my seat, grabbed the chair and smashed it on his desk. Both my chair and his desk broke. He got hit with the splinters. Nothing serious.

I had to write a report and I remember that I wrote: "I broke the desk and the chair, so I would not break his skull".

Never again did he mess with me.

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Agitated-Cup-2657 t1_je0lbsc wrote

I'm about your age and I've been violent like this all my life. Outbursts feel so satisfying in the moment, but the guilt afterwards is crushing. I'm in therapy now and making progress. Good luck working on your problems. We got this!

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crunchyhat t1_jdf1ow6 wrote

You were wrong to hit someone, but it was already physical. Don't worry about the rest.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdf2lmr wrote

I was wrong to hit her?

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crunchyhat t1_jdf2yey wrote

Correct.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdf9k54 wrote

Why? Should I have just let her keep kicking me

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specialagentunicorn t1_jdfdbyv wrote

It’s not an either or situation OP. There has to be some other solutions for you. Her kicking your chair is totally not okay. And while I understand how upsetting that is, you assaulted this person. As an adult and depending on what state you reside in, this is a felony and can be a minimum of 1 year in prison plus a charge on your record for a person to person crime. So, as you only received the suspension, you were kinda fortunate in that regard. We can argue all day about bullies (and believe me, it’s not okay and that it is allowed in schools despite them professing a no tolerance policy is abhorrent). It doesn’t mean that you have to sit and ‘take it’ either.

So let’s look at it. What other options did you have? Could you tell her to stop loudly to get attention from others/adults around you? Could you have gotten up from your chair and moved? Could you have gotten up and told the teacher you needed to be excused?

I think that the additional options you can think up will help you in future. I think it’s something to discuss with your dad and school admin as well. They need to provide you a safe ‘out’ so to speak. If you get up and move and get in trouble, I would think that your dad would be okay with that choice. It’s really important to talk about it. I know that there seems to be a lot of people advocating hitting this person, but they’re not speaking in your best interest. Neither do they volunteer to sit in jail for you or pay your legal fees if this happens again or when you’re older.

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IanFoxOfficial t1_jdfgtqd wrote

Some people only learn when they get some sense slapped into them. "Fuck around and find out".

20 years ago I was bullied too. It stopped when I stopped being Mr Nice.

And no I didn't need violence ever after. Or ran into the law etc.

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ricottapie t1_jdfiqqf wrote

>So let’s look at it. What other options did you have? Could you tell her to stop loudly to get attention from others/adults around you? Could you have gotten up from your chair and moved? Could you have gotten up and told the teacher you needed to be excused?

This is good advice. I feel like schools should emphasize these strategies and be as specific about them as you were. The standard directive to tell the teacher is vague, and it's not always that simple. And nobody wants to be a snitch.

Even if you get in trouble for getting out of your seat, you might at least have a chance to explain why, and if you end up getting in trouble anyway, it won't be for getting physical.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdffw5j wrote

There’s a lot of kids that like starting stuff at my school so I never really know when someone is gonna try messing with me.

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adrolter t1_jdfljvu wrote

I think there's some middle ground here. Don't use it as your first or only tool to resolve conflicts, because it's a pretty shitty tool and will only cause you all sorts of problems that will negatively affect pretty much every aspect of your life if you over-rely on it. Buuuuut sometimes it's an effective tool when all other reasonable means have been exhausted and it's used with restraint. I would be especially careful resorting to it at all if you're kind of a loner though, because it can sometimes lead to situations where cliques will gang up on you physically, and these kinds of things can spiral out of control. Ideally, though, you've now established some respect and boundaries with your rude classmates and you'll be left alone now that they know you'll get scrappy if pushed too far.

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdflwg5 wrote

I have a good group of friends at school, but they don’t like getting physical lol

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adrolter t1_jdfmdi7 wrote

I mean, fair enough, to be honest lol. It's best to not make it habit either way, but hopefully you won't need it again now that your classmate has a fat lip

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdfmnkz wrote

Luckily I didn’t break my hand hitting her lol

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adrolter t1_jdfmwj5 wrote

That's definitely better than the alternative!

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wildadragon t1_jdfcacp wrote

In school unfortunately you gotta snitch it's sad, but true.

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CubicalWombatPoops t1_jdfpq1a wrote

Nice punch, don't make a habit of it but glad you made it count this time.

Proud of you, kiddo

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdfq18s wrote

Thanks I’ll try not to make it a habit lol. I can’t fucking stand some of these girls here. Part of me thinks I should’ve waited till after school and just found her outside but idk

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chartyourway t1_jdfye6q wrote

oh definitely. if you do it off school grounds they shouldn't be able to do shit to you

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Madeline2535 OP t1_jdfyva8 wrote

I’m gonna try to keep that in mind if there’s any girls in the future

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Golluk t1_jdhg8l0 wrote

I feel like that could lead to some dangerous escalations where you get jumped by them and their friends with potentially no one around to keep things going too far.

Likely would have been better to quietly try bring it up with the teacher, another student near you two (peer shame them), and failing that, plausible denial retaliation (get up from your seat but shove your chair back into their desk, into them, with a quick apology).

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kakocastro t1_jdgazwk wrote

Been there, done that. Feel it, don’t let it consume you. Unfortunately people sometimes need to get smacked to learn a lesson. I’m glad you can defend yourself. You’re not the first kid getting into a fight. And most likely it won’t be your last. Next time try to wait until nobody else is seeing and make sure she doesn’t forget and you’ll never have to fight her again.

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GruesomeJeans t1_jdgc01m wrote

I threw a razor blade at someone in elementary school and you got 5 days out of school for hitting someone? Lucky...

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andurilmat t1_jdgslbi wrote

kicking the back of your chair doesn't count as physical? what do they think she was doing using the force

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Golluk t1_jdhgooy wrote

Clearly she should have held a sheet of paper between her fist and her face, that way it wouldn't have been physical.

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Psycheau t1_jdgvnez wrote

You did the right thing, if you didn't turn around and belt that bitch she would continue trying to bully you. So you got in trouble, who cares the principle doesn't have to walk the halls every day and get bullied, you do. My grandson was getting bullied at school, I told him to belt that damn kid as hard as he could and hurt him pretty bad, he pushed the bully over onto the concrete and busted his face up. I praised him for it, and before all the good two shoes start chiming in on how I'm a bad grandad, prove to me that kid would have stopped if he ignored it?

No you all know I'm right, that poor bully is getting picked on at home and that's why he does this shit at school, well not to my grandson any more, he also earned the respect of other kids and made more friends. I told him don't you ever start bullying kids, he promised me he never would, but no one will pick on him again after they saw what he did to the bully.

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ClownAdriaan t1_jdgxly8 wrote

You did good by standing up for yourself. I am proud of you.

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