Ive never had anyone be offended by the words stud or butch. If they have a different term they prefer they are always fine with educating politely and i am more than accommodating. Im not sure that there is any "safe" and all encompasing term for the less girly girl looking lesbians. If there is, would love to know. So just being polite and changing your beat kf corrected is acceptable.

I loved this one couple i knew in washington state. The more preppy one was the "girl" (according to them), the other was more masculine and prefered to be called the "woman" in their relationship. Lol. They were a super cute couple. I liked the idea that being the more masculine, stronger seeming, breadwinner was still getting a feminine descriptor. I hate how male washed relationships have to be for people to feel less uncomfortable with them.