TIFU by being too friendly

Submitted by Key_Wallaby4604 t3_120mun3 in tifu

I’ve been a frequent customer at a 7/11 near my job and I’ve gotten pretty cool with the staff. Three employees in particular because they are usually the ones on shift during the times I visit.

Let’s call the two employees in this story Ashley and Brittney for names sake. I went in the store and Ashley was working that day. Ashley another customer and me got into a conversation about kids and marriage. The other customer was in front of me and she leaves after she pays for her items. So it’s just me and Ashley now and I continue with the conversation by asking Ashley a few questions. I asked her did she want kids and she replies “One day her and her wife want kids”. I then ask her how long she’s been married and did they have a nice honeymoon since her marriage was recent. She answered those two questions and then asked me why am I being so personal (very aggressively). She was visibly upset so I apologized and attempted to explain I didn’t meant anything by it and thought it was regular conversation. I do wanna put out there Ashley has asked me personal questions in previous visits so I was confused as to why she took offense to me asking the questions I asked. Especially since they were in context of the topic we were discussing when the other customer was present.

Fast forward to yesterday I visit the store and Brittney is working that day (Brittney is a stud lesbian and my apologies if my terms out offensive but I’m not sure how else to describe her). Brittney greets me as usual and when I went to check out she says angrily “Are you the one who asking my wife all those personal questions about how long we’ve been married”? I responded yes it was me and I didn’t mean anything by it. I said I thought I was just making conversation. She then proceeds to tell me that that’s her wife and she figured it was me asking awkwardly. I reiterated that in my mind I was just being friendly since I had gotten familiar with them over the last few months and had no idea they were married.

I awkwardly waited to pay for my stuff and proceeded to leave. I was also on the phone with my fiancée during this whole ordeal. We both agreed my friendliness was mistakenly taken as flirty. Needless to say I wont being going back after that awkward encounter.

TLDR; Got pressed by lesbian today for attempting to make small talk with her wife.

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Comments

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lrw1951 t1_jdiscu3 wrote

Hey I am a married lesbian and I can see nothing wrong with your questions. Brittney needs to get over her paranoia? Over protectiveness? Whatever? She is being WEIRD totally. You are welcome to be my friend and ally!

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oakteaphone t1_jdj1y8b wrote

I really have to wonder if any questions asked by OP were left out...lol

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdjbiou wrote

Not at all. Understandable and reasonable suspicion for sure. Imo it would have been pointless to post the story if I left out any details like that. Would really be no reason to be surprised by her reaction if I asked anything more intrusive than what was stated. Again, it’s Reddit though and your suspicion is legit! Lol

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oakteaphone t1_jdjedce wrote

I mean, accidentally asking personal questions is a TIFU.

But if it was no more than what you said, it sounds like their FU, lol...

But given your wife agreed, maybe it was HOW you asked? Haha

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdk53dz wrote

Perhaps. I don’t know them in great detail. I understand that. So maybe this triggered the situation.

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Vehopsiraptor t1_jdkcsgp wrote

I don't like personal questions from anyone. My life is my business. However, I have a tolerance for what is personal and too personal. Either way, I don't get upset.

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AlligatorTree22 t1_jdkcolp wrote

When I was reading the story, I saw it going in the direction of "she was talking to her mom and thought I was creepy". So maybe my gut instinct isn't wrong. Maybe she knew the person in front of you more personally and thought you were being weird by adding onto a personal conversation that you had nothing to do with?

Pure speculation, obviously. Either way, no FU here.

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ComfortableAd3747 t1_jdkjfo5 wrote

Don't alter your daily routine. You did nothing wrong. Shop as you desire, you dont need to be friends with them if they do not reciprocate the feeling

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Prestigious_Bad2031 t1_jdkmre7 wrote

Better not go back, something weird might end up in his lunch... Since they created the mess in their head

6

ricnilotra t1_jdksffg wrote

My theory is that Ashely is bi so Brittany has hang ups about it.

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InconsolableDreams t1_jdj367t wrote

Married person asking another married person things about marriage is now flirty?

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdj5srf wrote

Yeah. Same thing I said.

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b4dt0ny t1_jdk7ec2 wrote

You should double down and go back and ask her where they went on their honeymoon

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HaikuBotStalksMe t1_jdkw2fz wrote

And if they ✂️.

I heard they like it when people ask that.

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b4dt0ny t1_jdl6yf1 wrote

Of course they ✂️. How else are they supposed to make babby?

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WarningLevel t1_jdla16r wrote

I also heard one of them will get cut in half, you can never be too carful when using ✂️ on each other to procreate

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Big_Man_Ran t1_jdlli2v wrote

Scissor me timbers

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Navin187 t1_jdnq692 wrote

Ahh, another "pointless" scissor joke...

1

Mimikim1234 t1_jdmymv9 wrote

It sounds like they lose customers based on who they like. I would just go to another 7-11, than deal with weird aggressive behavior for questions that aren’t out of line.

On the petty side, I would be tempted to tell them I found another 7-11, and I’m sad I wont see them anymore, since they brightened up my day.

“The other one I go to now is owned by an engaged lesbian couple! I’m going on their honeymoon with them, and planning their baby shower! I’ll miss you two!”

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itsjustmefortoday t1_jdloc5s wrote

Probably she thought asking if they had a nice honeymoon was a question about sex. Obviously it wasn't because she could easily have told him about things they did on their honeymoon completely unrelated to the bedroom.

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ManonFire1213 t1_jdmi804 wrote

Cause every conversation about the honeymoon revolves around sex? Lol. This is why society is headed downward. Everyone looks for a reason to become a victim.

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Mimikim1234 t1_jdmyxby wrote

I’ve asked tons of people that, and no one said anything about sex lol.

Usually it’s just “it was great!”

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NoGood_Boyo t1_jdirvp4 wrote

You didn't fuck up. They are in customer service. Should know how to politely navigate small talk with a regular customer. I'm sure their bizarre, angry behavior will ensure they have long successful marriage.

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdite2y wrote

Yeah. I hope whatever it is gets worked out!

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carolathome t1_jdj1w0b wrote

Don't stop going there. That would make it awkward. Just keep the Convo to a minimum.

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdj5rby wrote

Yeah. Maybe I’ll go back eventually but for all parties involved think it’s best to let the situation cool down.

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VG88 t1_jdjqyub wrote

Indeed. Something is likely brewing under the surface with them.

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Beginning_Catch192 t1_jdlsuf4 wrote

This! I've been asked so many personal questions in the past and when I didn't want to share I would just give a vague answer, deflect or completely change the subject. Although in parts of Scotland I was more likely to get someone's life story🤣

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Mama8606 t1_jdiqdo5 wrote

Do not change your routine cause of touchy workers. They had an issue and you explained, you owe them nothing else and you don't deserve to be uncomfortable just cause they misunderstood. People get approached everyday and it's presumptuous to think that you were attempting to get at her just by asking questions. Wifey needs to check her arrogance.

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdirgcs wrote

Yeah. I understand for sure. I actually went back in between the first and second encounter. Ashley was there alone and she was visibly uncomfortable when dealing with me. So not surprised at the last encounter with Britney.

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Mama8606 t1_jdizsrz wrote

Yea, I would just stoneface them from here on out. Because even if you had intent behind your question, what is Britney gonna do to you about it?? Except just be mad🤷🏾‍♀️

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdj07z2 wrote

Lol. I mean true. Def didn’t say anything to warrant any physical altercation.

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Gordon_Explosion t1_jdit3d7 wrote

YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN LIVING IN A SOCIETY AND THAT MAKES ME ANGRY.

If you want to shop there, shop there. Their issues are their own.

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yumirow t1_jdjgkvt wrote

Alr my take on the subject : they don't actually agree on the subject of kids, or at least Ashley isn't sure, so asking that question triggered insecurities about the future. Next she complains about it to her wife, without mentioning the part which triggered her but still offloading its feelings. Next brittney take it at core (cause you know heavy feeling) expect you to have been rude about it to get such reaction and confront you.

Now maybe I'm all wrong and they're just easily disagreeable people

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EndlessLadyDelerium t1_jdl07v8 wrote

Asking anyone about children is extremely personal, especially if they don't have any yet: perhaps they've been rejected for apportion, or are going through that process; perhaps they're saving for IVF and it's stressful with the job they work; perhaps IVF has been successful but they've experienced a miscarriage.

OP doesn't know anything about their reproductive life, and childless couples might desperately want children but can't have them for one reason or another.

Or they simply disagree.

It is invasive, OP! I read recently about a woman with a young child who had two older women practically interrogate her while she was getting her hair done about having more. Eventually she told them that she's trying to give her child a sibling but that all her babies keep dying!

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Amiibohunter000 t1_jdlson2 wrote

OP making small talk is not the same as whatever story you heard about some lady at the salon getting badgered. Don’t conflate things

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GibbousMoonCakes t1_jdlukts wrote

I can see your point, but if 3 ppl were talking about kids and marriage then 1 leaves, how is it invasive to continue said convo? Asking if she had kids was a natural progression in the ongoing conversation. If she wasn't comfortable continuing said conversation she could have, speaking as someone who has worked retail/c.s. for over 2 decades and as others have mentioned, deflected the (perceived personal) question(s) by changing the subject or given OP vague answers.

It's what you have to do as a customer facing employee; keep it friendly but not too personal/specific

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throwawayrtwconcerns t1_jdmeftk wrote

OP didn't ask if she had kids, OP asked if she wanted kids according to the post. That's very personal and invasive, especially when you don't know if the person you're asking has had losses.

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Fresh-Tea-3812 t1_jdikt0n wrote

They are weirdos by being so soft and offended by that. You didn absolutely no wrong. Have an excellent day! :)

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdir0ng wrote

Thanks my friend!

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Pandalite t1_jdj4pbe wrote

The only thing I can think is that usually lesbian couples need a sperm donor to have kids, so hopefully she wasn't thinking OP was offering? That's a stretch though. But asking about kids with lesbian couples is a bit of a sensitive topic, because, well, they can't. Options are adoption or sperm donor.

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdjbypa wrote

Yeah. This did not cross then forefront of my mind during the occurrence. Hopefully she didn’t think I was offering to be their donor. Rather forthcoming and quite frankly disgusting to offer that to relative strangers lol. But we live in a world where someone would so definitely a possible she interpreted it that way.

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VG88 t1_jdjrcho wrote

Maybe they get harassed by men all the time and had knee-jerk defense reactions?

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TiaxTheMig1 t1_jdkbpxi wrote

OP's comment could also indicate that they believe they're getting harassed all the time because they probably view conversations like OP's as harrassment.

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VG88 t1_jdli9ws wrote

Yeah, maybe they're interpreting a lot of everyday conversations this way.

So weird that they're okay asking (only semi-)personal questions but not receiving them.

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1creeper t1_jdjgisv wrote

We are very sorry that you had this unfortunate and awkward experience at 7-11. We respect your decision to take time away from our stores. Please remember that Big Gulps are only one dollar, Large pizzas are ten dollars, and our Jumbo hot dog is only 2.99.

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NoUseInCallingOut t1_jdi3f7m wrote

Yeah... That seems odd. I would just give it some time before going back.

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdiaet9 wrote

Lol yeah. No hard feelings for them, but it was extremely awkward. Just not sure how it even got that far. I was thinking maybe she thought I was suggesting I wanted kids with her, but that’s huge conclusion to jump to if that’s the case.

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monadyne t1_jdl5v4n wrote

>give it some time before going back.

Absolutely not! Don't let someone else's interpretation of your remarks dictate your reality. Just keep going back as often as you normally would. Let them adapt to you, rather than you adapting to them. If you'd been an asshole, that would be different, But you were not being an asshole. You avoiding visits there makes it appear that you are remorseful about something. Please don't support that mistaken perception.

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mcarterphoto t1_jdiug8e wrote

I'd throw in here that you're dealing with a same-sex couple. Lesbian couples may feel particularly protective of their privacy - you've got the "male fascination" thing that's been fed by decades of porn, and every day's news brings more and more just-plain-evil shit from the right, trying to negate the humanity and rights of LGBTQ-(whatever-this-week's-letter-combo-is, I'm too old to keep track, sorry!) human beings. If I were a woman in that camp, I imagine there'd always be some little edge of fear in me - plenty of people feel they can brazenly attack anyone that's different and that it's freaking "patriotic" or whatever.

As a 60+ guy, I'm amazed by the progress in being "out" these days and how quickly it's accelerated - but there are plenty of people looking for someone to hate. (Me, I'm thrilled with the progress of gay rights, and I have a gay daughter - I just want her to be happy as hell).

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdivegz wrote

I understand. Live and let live is my motto! Really enjoyed my interactions with them and I am happily involved. So naturally no Ill intent was in my heart.

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Palovid t1_jdln4hd wrote

you've got a good point. not that OP did anything truly wrong, but when you've got your shield up constantly, anything can set you off, sadly. just don't take it personally OP and just be neutrally civil with them in the future

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wexman6 t1_jdjcfu4 wrote

You should never consider being nice a TIFU. It’s an awkward situation, but it’s not your fault. You were being nice and the other person took it the wrong way. Being friendly is not a fuck-up.

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MonsterReprobate t1_jdkf9zu wrote

yeah i don't think you fucked up.

"You're married. Cool! how long have you been married? Where did you honeymoon?"

That's the exact opposite of flirty.

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PreferredSelection t1_jdiosnt wrote

7/11's are full of strange people, not your fault.

I would say, Stud likely fits here, but is probably not the best way to describe this person unless she has self-identified as such to you. They're a pretty divisive group, and a lot of butch women with similar aesthetics might not want to be called that.

(It'd be kind of like calling somebody 'trad wife' when they're just cottagecore. Small difference in aesthetic, big difference in values.)

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VG88 t1_jdjrrxm wrote

But ... is "butch" an acceptable term? "Stud" sounds less like a negative stereotype to me but I may be wrong.

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Theletterkay t1_jdldkja wrote

Ive never had anyone be offended by the words stud or butch. If they have a different term they prefer they are always fine with educating politely and i am more than accommodating. Im not sure that there is any "safe" and all encompasing term for the less girly girl looking lesbians. If there is, would love to know. So just being polite and changing your beat kf corrected is acceptable.

I loved this one couple i knew in washington state. The more preppy one was the "girl" (according to them), the other was more masculine and prefered to be called the "woman" in their relationship. Lol. They were a super cute couple. I liked the idea that being the more masculine, stronger seeming, breadwinner was still getting a feminine descriptor. I hate how male washed relationships have to be for people to feel less uncomfortable with them.

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VG88 t1_jdlivo0 wrote

Fair enough, make sense to me.

Also, greetings from Seattle here, as it turns out! :)

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Palovid t1_jdlmzd4 wrote

from what I've gathered "stud" tends to be a descriptor for the sexual preferences or role in the relationship, whereas "butch" describes the aesthetic and the gender. i can see why the former could be potentially offensive because it brings to light something private. but i could be talking out my ass, lesbians feel welcome to school me on this

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdir535 wrote

Thanks for the lesson. Definitely prefer to address people correctly.

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Designer-Amphibian29 t1_jdji15v wrote

I've clearly wasted YEARS not being offended by every person who's made conversation with me and asked questions about how long I've been married. Did I miss the memo that this was an offensive topic? 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️. Some people... lol. OP, you're fine. They're in their own little world.

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mix_t_motion32 t1_jdkf100 wrote

That’s foul. Ashley need to get her shit together with Brit. Or Brit need to do something about those insecurities. Now an innocent man can’t go get the lotto and a Chick-o-Stick because these two are trying to create novella scenes at work and it’s really just them two participating. Gotta do better 🙂

&&I hope you find a new favorite corner store my guy. I know how stressful it can be finding one of those..

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SmashingIggy t1_jdknj64 wrote

Just keep going back there. No big reason to stop. Just go in and buy your stuff and leave. If you stop going then they'll probably think you were actually hitting on Ashley.

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R_crafter t1_jdjhony wrote

So I have asked a couple how long they had been dating out of friendly conversation and had the most uncomfortable reaction from them. I had totally spaced that the girl had just split up with her ex and it sounded like I was asking if they were dating while she was still with her ex—implying I was questioning if she cheated on her ex with him. The thought didn’t even cross my mind until I saw their reaction to my question.

So maybe it could have been a similar scenario, but you just didn’t know all the details and they assumed you did?

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ZereneTrulee t1_jdjipnp wrote

My ex said I spoke flirtatiously with everyone I spoke to. I was just happy and smiling. He was just an abusive jerk.

Is it possible they have that kind of relationship? And even though they weren’t both there at the time, relationship stuff like that can still make one person really paranoid about not telling their partner everything.

I mean, I guess it doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t go back either.

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leathermasterkw t1_jdkcow2 wrote

The only defense for this is working in retail makes you a captive audience when people create awkward situations. If someone decided to taunt them about being gay it could become very uncomfortable for them.

This doesn't sound like that but maybe they're projecting or reactive because of other negative interactions

That said, there are ways to shut down situations like this diplomatically. They are obviously uncomfortable discussing their relationship around you. Gray Rock them from now on, and don't gossip about them.

Leave it be.

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NoxKyoki t1_jdki7vg wrote

>“One day her and her wife want kids”.

you big flirt. 😉

​

but seriously. they both blew this way out of proportion. those are normal questions lots of people ask when they're having normal conversations. it's not like you asked any seriously serious personal questions. this is just two people having a chat.

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GuardianOfReason t1_jdkr6hk wrote

Yeah that's fucked up, it happened to me too when I asked one guy in a gay marriage how long his penis was compared to his partner and if they ever do dicksaber fights. People are so sensitive nowadays.

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Eddie843 t1_jdk6km1 wrote

I think you didn't fuck up. I see friendly small talk. And plus it's a 7/11 they probably have a crackhead that shits I'm the bushes every day (at least ours does) so if you asking ahitblike that is weird to them, I think they are the weird ones.

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TiaxTheMig1 t1_jdkan2o wrote

Ah... So the 7/11s that don't have a crackhead shit in the bushes every day are the "weird" ones.

Next time I see a crackhead shit in the bushes outside of an establishment I'll make sure to tap my friend and let him know that's how you spot a quality place 👍

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Eddie843 t1_jdmi32m wrote

Rule only applies to 7/11s. it's why big gulps are so cheap.

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LM1953 t1_jdk0ye2 wrote

They took your conversation as intrusive not flirty

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Abbhrsn t1_jdk9jcu wrote

They went way over the top, you didn't FU at all imo.

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Carlos280202 t1_jdkz5dy wrote

Eh no, you don't stop going to that 711, you report her to 7/11for harassment to a customer And get both of them fired. They can't work In customer service with that attitude. You were not being rude, you did not ask her out, you were being polite, in America people are polite, they don't like it? Don't get a court facing job. They are in the wrong and they are costing a corporation customers

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdlk42k wrote

I definitely wouldn’t go that far. I don’t want to see them lose their livelihoods over the situation. I have mentioned they were always very pleasant in all my visits until these occurrences.

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Palovid t1_jdlmqda wrote

calm down dude, it's not a sackable offense

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VG88 t1_jdjqt1m wrote

It kinda sounds like they FU by assuming the wrong intent. Maybe they're having real problems or maybe they just don't know how to have a friendly conversation. Seems so weird to be upset about that.

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdjwo8w wrote

A lot of good perspectives with the exception of the dude who got downvoted to oblivion. Still tryna sift through comments.

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DreamyTomato t1_jdm8c25 wrote

Just a FYI my kids were taught at school to never ever ask casual acquaintances if they want kids (or if they have kids, if they haven’t already told you). This came as a bit of a surprise to me. But my kids explained to me that yes it can be a very sensitive and personal question to many people.

As you found out, as well as the IVF thing, it also ties into issues of religion, hetero-normativity, the role of women in society, body control, ability and disability etc etc.

Best to stick to safer topics like the weather, the price of biscuits, roadworks, local news, the Ukraine war, global sports events, recent films, TV series etc.

1

Snake_crane t1_jdk83ps wrote

You did not do anything wrong. Keep on going regularly

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rayg1 t1_jdk9hdl wrote

Some people are honestly just very pathetic and insecure. I had a lesbian woman get mad at me because I asked how her and her fiancée’s days were which is something we have to do at my job. One was quiet the whole time and the other was just angry at me and just kept trying to fit in that they were dating every time she talked. Ironically I also asked how long her and her fiancée were together after she brought it up out of nowhere and that was what got her the most mad. It was literally just questions to keep a conversation going.

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Ashley4645 t1_jdkc71v wrote

There's nothing wrong with you asking! I find their reaction to be strange. Even if you were flirting, their reaction was strange. I wouldn't let it bother you. There's something going on in their relationship/life that would make them react that way. I don't believe it was you.

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seeyallinpurgtory t1_jdkcd1a wrote

I'm also a lesbian and these sound like normal questions to me. Perhaps it's some toxicity between the couple?

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Faelysis t1_jdkerhz wrote

Seem like 2 princess lacking some humanity and awareness. It may be easy to think that their relationship is not going that well and both seem insecure with it.

They did the FU by complaining, especially after they did asked you some personal question previously

3

cRaZyDaVe23 t1_jdkpjg1 wrote

Naw fuck that. Keep going or they win. Be juuust enough of a dick to get the point across but not 86'd.

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Palovid t1_jdlmhnl wrote

in my opinion asking people about children is kind of personal, but i don't know the extent of your friendliness with them so I can't make that judgement.

i also want to ask, are you living in a particularly queer-friendly area? are they originally from there? i ask because it could be that they're accustomed to navigating their relationship in an unfriendly environment and so have had to keep their guard up around anything relating to their relationship and sexuality. in that case their reaction would make more sense.

furthermore, it could be that they're used to showing interest (or at least feigning interest) towards customers because the customers seem to like it, but customers never return the interest so they don't expect those kind of questions

just some theories

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corky9er t1_jdlosl1 wrote

As an obsessive compulsive married lesbian, you were not out of line. BUT, I can see, from strictly my perspective, why she would react that way: it’s kind of threatening. And since it sounds like she was the femme of the two (not that all of us work this way), she has probably been approached by perverts in the past and this triggered a fight or flight response. It’s not your fault.

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fuzbuster83 t1_jdjmq54 wrote

Fuck 'em. They need to lighten up.

2

xistithogoth1 t1_jdk2kbv wrote

You didnt fuck up. They are definitely the assholes in this situation. Asking questions about someone and their spouse when you find out theyre married is completely normal. Im married (and gay) and as soon as people find out they ask how long we've been together etc. Those two are paranoid af for whatever reason and their attitudes need to change.

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jimsbook t1_jdkg1k0 wrote

These women are uncomfortable with there situation, I think the first one was trying to make the second one jealous. You were a victim of they're relationship issues that had nothing to do with you. They were definitely in the wrong, your questions were not flirty in any way.

2

dantodd t1_jdl704y wrote

The worst thing you did was talk on the phone while transferring business. When I worked retail this was so common and so rude. Put the phone down for 3 minutes.

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdljz3o wrote

I was on the phone during the confrontation. Not when asking the questions. Sorry for the confusion, my friend.

1

throwawayrtwconcerns t1_jdmfrit wrote

So people aren't allowed to be on the phone while checking out at a convenience store? Nobody owes you a conversation when they're cashing out.

1

SameAd3423 t1_jdlatgf wrote

If they are from a certain country maybe they had fixed marriage and did not want anyone to know?

2

Theletterkay t1_jdlcx7o wrote

The onlything I can figure is that you were talking about kids and jumped to honeymoon, so they thought you were a creep thinking about their sex life.

I personally dont ask about someones honeymoon unless I know them more personally. Asking how long theyve been married is generally acceptable but otherwise its not your business as a customer aquaintance.

When confronted I would have just said "sorry, im married too and was trying to be friendly" maybe laughed about how making friends is hard these days. Beyond that, it would be on them if they want to continue being butthurt by an innocent mistake.

2

Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdljw7p wrote

I pretty much did respond like that when I was confronted because I was on the phone with my fiancé during the occurrence. Just wanted to reassure them I meant no disrespect. Imo asking did they have a good honeymoon is a surface level question because they were recently married.

1

PricelessCuts t1_jdle4d8 wrote

You might be able to get them back by holding up the store? Just have to say “it’s a prank” and you’ll be fine

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Xplatanito t1_jdlezaf wrote

I think that unless they are your close friends, that type of information is none of your bussines. And it gets even more annoying when people just assume you are heterosexual.

2

Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdljp3r wrote

I personally did not assume her sexuality. Also please take into consideration that I have stated she has asked me personal questions as well. Hence the reason I was confused when she asked me why was I being so personal when I asked the questions.

3

PhoenixEgg88 t1_jdljw83 wrote

The only FU here was asking about kids imo. It can be a really touchy subject for some people, and there’s a myriad of ‘under the surface’ things that can and will trigger people. Personally I’d just leave that subject alone in general unless someone offers that information.

Give it a few days, then resume as normal.

2

Palovid t1_jdlnai5 wrote

geez... some people in the replies are being really aggressive. obviously these women were in the wrong but it's not like they did him any harm. some of y'all need to calm down and redirect your issues

2

KrysSpace t1_jdm5rqz wrote

Double and give it to the next person

2

saiqfxz t1_jdmlfum wrote

what does the m stand for on here by the tittle?

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3rdwheelawkward t1_jdmmriq wrote

Since no one here was there when the questions were asked we can’t really know for sure how it could have been perceived. Usually when strangers or customers start asking personal questions like that it’s almost always not with good intentions, from personal experience, and it depends on how they’re asking. Don’t sweat it though because you weren’t trying to be creepy with them. Just know they aren’t the type to be chummy or personal with customers.

I did want to mention that a “stud lesbian” is a term reserved for masculine presenting black women lesbians. Otherwise she’s just masc or butch. But “butch” is a term that she could call herself not really a polite term for someone who doesn’t know a person well to use for them. Typically “masc” is the better term to use for a stranger that wouldn’t come off as offensive.

2

pghdrummer93 t1_jdmp04n wrote

Lgbtq people are not friendly it seems

2

Opposite-Tip-3102 t1_jdmsupu wrote

That's called triangulation. You got in the middle of their drama. Somebody cheats in that relationship for SURE!

2

Rabbittsherriff t1_jdom2g9 wrote

Ppl are crazy asf now days...consider yourself the winner And walk away ,but don't change the way you look at life or the way you deal with ppl..just keep on keeping on,and chalk thewhole up to a crazy weird society

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Sleepdprived t1_jdiv0up wrote

Introduce them to your fiance, and apologize again. Maybe it will help, maybe it won't, maybe she was pressing you because she thought it was funny.

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdivjl8 wrote

Lol. Yeah not that serious for me to introduce them to my fiancé. Could have thought it was funny to press me but body language and facial expression said otherwise.

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Helmann t1_jdk1c1t wrote

Is overreacting and misinterpreting intentions something that women do more often?

1

hanaokolele t1_jdpyla5 wrote

Pro tip: in general, in the 21st century, especially in 2023, married or not, regardless of sexual orientation, no matter the degree of relationship, well meaning or prurient, no matter if your fiancee/mom/pastor/politician/society/culture thinks it's normal, it is NOT okay to ask any woman about their child planning. It is not a cute, relatable, smug marrieds question; you are essentially asking her about her ovulatory phase and insemination planning and in doing so, reducing her entire self to a womb. It is an intrusive and sexist line of questioning. A woman's reproductive cycle is no one's effing business other than her own. The public can stay the **** out of her uterus. Delete this question from your idle chitchat repetoire. End PSA.

1

stephanielil t1_jdkn8vk wrote

Tell those bitches to drink a Slurpee because they need to cool down. It's not like you were asking if they scissor or something like that! You were just making small talk and asking harmless questions that I've asked complete strangers if it was on topic.

−1

YTA_83 t1_jdkgdr7 wrote

2 overly emotional, paranoid butch crotchety lesbians. You did nothing wrong. Don’t lose even 1 minute’s sleep over them.

Again another situation caused entirely by a) a woman summoning up a big problem from thin air at the drop of a hat followed by b) going and blabbing the entire story to another person further escalating the situation.

−3

jumperwalrus t1_jdivot6 wrote

Don't go there again. On this occasion I'd also advise being a Karen and emailing management about those two insufferable drama queens.

−8

Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdivw0b wrote

Lol I most likely will not return, but I don’t think it’s necessary to complain. I never felt threatened. It was a small awkward blip that made for an interesting occurrence. So I thought I would share it here.

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jumperwalrus t1_jdiw8hb wrote

Ah no worries then. Good plan about keeping away though, they sound unhinged.

2

Nivekian13 t1_jdirgmr wrote

Maybe have some better boundaries, the world is not made of "soft people" like another dopey poster said, it's full of people living another life and facing another reality with their loved ones. Some people don't like boundaries and personal questions. Some are assholes.

​

That is why you vet who you have heavy conversations about personal relationships & families with. Read the room better, act more reserved in public.

−21

Chickenfing t1_jditewq wrote

He asked her how long she has been married to her wife and if she had a nice honeymoon AFTER the topic as brought up by her and another customer. OP didn't do anything but be courteous.

Maybe Ashley isn't very confident in/is embarrassed by her sexuality and gets overly defensive when people bring up her wife.

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Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdiucia wrote

Yeah. Again we have had nothing but pleasant interactions previously. Joking and similar surface small talk. I would see if I asked her was she happy in her marriage or something along those lines. She would have every right to implode on me in that case.

6

Key_Wallaby4604 OP t1_jdit5w6 wrote

I understand and would agree if I had not stated in my post that Ashley has asked me personal questions previously. I also stated the questions I asked were in context of the three way conversation with the other customer. I just don’t go randomly talking strangers heads off about personal matters.

I would say I read the room fine all things considered. Hence the reason why the situation took me off guard. I have no problem admitting I was wrong or out of line. However, I don’t think this situation calls for that.

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