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i37i t1_jdcn4z5 wrote

Reply to comment by iaintdum in TIFU By snooping through my wife's phone by [deleted]

No one is entitled to anyone's privacy though. Normal adults talk and come forward when anything feels wrong in the relationship. But deciding to go through her phone says so, so much.

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nickman940 t1_jdcnv76 wrote

Interesting that you’re choosing the side of the cheating woman over the guy who just wanted to know the truth. Especially with kids involved? God damn.

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majestrate t1_jdcpfzt wrote

The gender of who did what doesn't matter, invasion of privacy is wrong.

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nickman940 t1_jdcsrlv wrote

You’re right, the gender of the people doesn’t matter at all, but they are still gendered humans so using gendered language to describe them is fairly normal communication.!

Your comment adds nothing to the topic or the conversation, congrats

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i37i t1_jdcohyo wrote

Who do you think I was referring to when I said "normal adults come forward when there's something wrong in the relationship'?

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[deleted] OP t1_jdcosmb wrote

[removed]

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i37i t1_jdcpalc wrote

Or maybe people like you who jump to conclusions? I wasn't answering to OP first of all, I answered to the dude who literally said 'you're entitled to know what your wife is up to" like going through her personal stuff is the way to go. My answer was regarding that, plus the fact that normal adults communicate, they don't cheat nor do they invade each other's privacy. Please point to exactly where I am defending the cheater =)))

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[deleted] OP t1_jdcqcxy wrote

>Please point to exactly where I am defending the cheater =)))

idk about your privacy thing but if privacy should be a thing in a married couple then i dont think you'll ever discover any cheater. and when you are married i dont think the concept of "personal stuff" shoould exist at all.

maybe im also a shitty person like op.

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elianrae t1_jdcw5hc wrote

jfc if you think marriage means sharing absolutely everything all the time please go and get some fucking therapy

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[deleted] OP t1_jdcydm3 wrote

aww...imagine you hv to curse to say an illogical arugment,

then if you hv to hide anything from your life partner then you are making the thing more and more SUS bout you.

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elianrae t1_jdcyo5i wrote

so anyways do you share your toothbrush or is that an okay "personal" item to have?

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[deleted] OP t1_jdcyvpd wrote

if my partner wants to use it, fine by me.

i'll buy a new one for me.

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elianrae t1_jdd0gz3 wrote

yeah that's a fair and conflict free way to enforce that boundary but you're still ending up with personal stuff hey

like sharing everything sounds nice and romantic in theory but there are a lot of potential negatives to getting really deeply enmeshed

Sharing all of your interests and doing everything together leaves people lost and deeply lonely if their partner dies before them. Fully sharing finances (like no longer having individual bank accounts) leaves you more vulnerable to financial abuse. Snooping through your partners phone might just end up ruining your surprise birthday party.

healthy relationships are formed when two people with independent lives make space for something shared and build it together, not from subsuming themselves into the relationship until nothing individual is left.

anyway that's what I meant by my much shorter and somewhat ruder comment 😁

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[deleted] OP t1_jdcq01d wrote

>says so, so much.

aww..

ofc going tthru someone's phone is so bad as compared to calling your now husband an ex.

op is a peice of shit imo.

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