Don't be too hard on yourself. Women can be hard to figure out when you are just starting out. I have spent the entirety of my adult life trying to figure out a wife, 3 daughters, and 2 granddaughters. Interfacing with them is a skill you develop.

For some, it comes naturally. For others like us, it is something we have to learn. From my experiences, it is a skill that I am constantly refining. We've been married 33+ years, and I am still working on it. Truly loving someone takes a lifetime. You will get there. We all make mistakes of varying degrees. Some of us actually learn from them.

Fwiw, don't give up in Mary. From your description, she sounds pretty cool about the whole thing.