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[deleted] t1_ixzc5ki wrote

Reply to comment by Outside_Cod667 in TIFU by saying 'Men are born drivers' infront of my two senior female co-workers. TL;DR by ioncarelol

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SSNs4evr t1_ixzij9k wrote

I don't know one way or the other, but I'm a man, and my wife always makes me drive. I'm competent, confident, and all that other crap men are supposed to be, and at 51, I'm mellow and mature enough to not get sucked up into the "who's got the bigger cock" stuff. From my perspective anyway, if I have to drive all the time, statistically I'm destined to be involved in more of the good and bad that comes with driving.

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Outside_Cod667 t1_ixzs6nt wrote

There are always going to be a lot of variables and it isn't black and white. Typically researchers will factor in thar men drive more (accidents per mile for example). The sexist part of this post is that OP stated very black and white, "Men are automatically good drivers simply because they are a man." The definition of safety is obviously debatable as well and I'm finding studies that go both ways. Both genders have traits that can lead them to being either good or bad drivers.

As a women, it's frustrating that men will just say, "Men are just better at x, y, z," as a blanket statement, based on anecdotal evidence, for things that simply aren't true. "Oh, I didn't mean to be offensive, it's just a fact." Or "in my experience it's true.. I don't mean allll women." It's frustrating because this type of thinking leads to other unconscious sexist thoughts.

I'll do my best to explain what it feels like as a woman to hear these types of statements. I'm certainly not speaking for all women here. When men make these types of blanket statements at work, it tends to be the type of men that will talk over women during a meeting. It's the the that call me aggressive during a meeting because I stand my ground, or say, "Hey Drew, Amy wasn't done speaking yet and I'd like to hear what she has to say." Or, my favorite, would rather ask a man that is new to the team, rather than me (the subject matter expert), because I'm a woman in a male dominated field. Is that always the case? No. But women experience this type of thing frequently, and if a man consistently makes statements like this, I'm going to be on edge around them.

I'm someone that will call a man out, in a lighthearted way. The majority of the time a guy will realize it and apologize, because it really wasn't intentional. It's hard to see sexism if you dont experience (similar to racism). I'm not bothered by these statements unless 1) it's consistent or 2) the guy doubles down / defends the sexist comment.

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get_off_my_lawn_n0w t1_iy0fs4i wrote

This exactly. I can't say I'm immune to it either. It's so pervasive, us guys, don't even realize it. This AM I found myself apologizing and explaining to my kid for a similar statement.

I said "I'm helping momma clean the house". Unwittingly implying that house cleaning was mom's responsibility and I'm merely helping. Even with the best of intentions, that shit is hard to combat.

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Outside_Cod667 t1_iy0z1ae wrote

It's great that you can think about it, recognize it, and apologize for it. Everyone does it to an extent, whether it's sexism, racism, or something else. Acknowledging it and/or genuinely trying to understand is what makes a difference, so thank you!

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get_off_my_lawn_n0w t1_iy0ehw1 wrote

There was a guy who did a paper on this and had a better explanation.

So TLDR men are higher risk takers and get into larger, deadlier accidents. Women are more cautious drivers but seem to get into numerically more smaller less expensive non deadly accidents.

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ben_db t1_ixzks7f wrote

It really depends what you mean by "better".

Safer? hell no, men tend to be way more dangerous.

Getting out of potentially dangerous situations? Possible.

Driving competitively at a very high level? Yes, men are more prevalent in this, but that doesn't mean that a man will be better than a woman, only that characteristics that lead someone to excel are more likely to be there in men.

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