Submitted by TwoPintsNoneTheRichr t3_z2ur8p in tifu
Damien_Blaq t1_ixjcovv wrote
The first time I slept with my son's mother, I did something similar. I picked her up off of the couch we were making out on, carried her into the bedroom with her legs wrapped around me, then proceeded to put her down on the bed in a dark room... I miscalculated the positioning of the bed, and ended up full on body slamming her into the floor NEXT TO the bed... Fortunately, she was not hurt and we laughed hard about it. As you can see in the beginning of this story, she still let me smash even after smashing her into the floor.
TwoPintsNoneTheRichr OP t1_ixjctp1 wrote
lol this is a good one too :)
MooTheGrass t1_ixjsin6 wrote
why "my son's mother" instead of "my wife" lol
Damien_Blaq t1_ixjso3i wrote
... lol because we weren't married...
MooTheGrass t1_ixk0u1n wrote
ahh haha sorry for jumping to conclusions!
fuckimtrash t1_ixks2yd wrote
Yea figured they would have just said my girlfriend/my ex lol
definitedukah t1_ixke2we wrote
Your son’s mother….
fss71 t1_ixjl94e wrote
Why not just say wife / ex-wife? Lol
Damien_Blaq t1_ixjlbr9 wrote
Because neither ever applied.
Ocean_Spice t1_ixjncjz wrote
… You are aware pregnancy can happen outside of marriage, yes? Like fertility doesn’t only kick in once you’re legally married.
fss71 t1_ixjs1ym wrote
Absolutely and usually that could be a girlfriend and based on the reply it may seem like it wasn’t a girlfriend either so it seems like the mother could have been a friend of whatever relationship they had or currently have
Damien_Blaq t1_ixjtk2k wrote
It seemed easier and less wordy then saying "The woman I was dating for 4 years, went on to have a child with, then break up with for 6 years, and get back together with a couple days ago."... I dunno... Maybe that would have gotten point of the story across better.
zookeeper4312 t1_ixjv88y wrote
Not sure anything u said could've gotten the point over any better in this case
Vivistolethecheese t1_ixjxulf wrote
I understand what you said, but since people are complaining, you could use "partner" or "ex-partner" I guess. What you said works perfectly already though.
[deleted] t1_ixkeicw wrote
[deleted]
EternalPinkMist t1_ixkj8sl wrote
What if it was a one night stand and she refused to abort. That's not an ex anything.
Ocean_Spice t1_ixkjpsn wrote
Or someone who’d been a fwb or something, people still have sex outside being in a relationship.
The_R1NG t1_ixoduph wrote
Not confusing at all, some people are just dumb as fuck. Really “why not say wife or girlfriend” if people spent two seconds thinking they’d realize that it most likely didn’t apply
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