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BlahMan06 t1_j1o7h5u wrote

You should be locked up you fucking creep. Why the fuck would you grope someone without first making sure its ok? Especially if they've been sexually assaulted before. You are a monster. You deserve the worst possible treatment.

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Proof-Tumbleweed-460 t1_j1oa0hg wrote

Well aren’t you a bit overkill. Lets address a few things about this real quick. 1. OP literally is groveling about how terrible they feel because they made a very dumb mistake while intoxicated( they not only identified but accepted their failure) meaning in an inebriated state of mind he isn’t able to ask for consent 2. If Becky chose to report him she would be well within her rights to do so but it all go what OP is saying is true then this wasn’t a situation of malicious intent and is more deserving of giving Becky time and space to fully wrap her head around what she feels necessary. Rather than judging this dude who’s clearly in a fucked position, give him some recourses to get the help he needs before things potentially get worst.

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BlahMan06 t1_j1oblx5 wrote

He molested a girl who has a history of sexual assault. Fuck him and his feelings.

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Proof-Tumbleweed-460 t1_j1ocx7d wrote

Yeah see that would be okay to say if he wasn’t accepting guilt and seeking penance but you’re being a complete pile of trash to someone who’s not a repeat offender ( from what we know) so saying this only pushes to the extreme of what can happen and not the healthy outcome

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BlahMan06 t1_j1ohf17 wrote

His feelings after the fact don't change the horrible things the victum feels. Stop defending this rapist.

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Proof-Tumbleweed-460 t1_j1od1m4 wrote

Like you’re being a complete scumbag to someone you don’t know and have no right to be, you aren’t the victim, you aren’t the cops and you aren’t him so take your shit and rant on someone else’s fucking thread

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Bridazzles t1_j1ofjb9 wrote

I agree. She’s been assaulted before, and she told this to him in confidence, and trusted him. He then turns around and makes her worst nightmare come true: Sexual assault from a “friend.” That’s something a monster would do.

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Proof-Tumbleweed-460 t1_j1oghsy wrote

Ok but we’re missing the part where he says HE WAS DRUNK. In no way was that justification for what he did but gaining consent when you’re drunk isn’t legally possible because you’re impaired to whatever extent do you understand that?? Rather than bashing and judging getting the guy help is more important

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Bridazzles t1_j1oiisq wrote

I’ve been drunk lots of times, and I have never assaulted anyone. That’s not an excuse.

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Proof-Tumbleweed-460 t1_j1ojh5j wrote

I never said it was an excuse. For the millionth time bashing someone who’s seeking help because they clearly fucked up does absolutely nothing in the end. How does calling him out like a middle schooler make any difference ??

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Proof-Tumbleweed-460 t1_j1ojo2t wrote

We aren’t able to give him the professional help he needs nor are we able to intervene as law enforcement so at the end of the day the only thing we can do is recommend a way to move forward or are we just gonna stick with useless bashing?

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Bridazzles t1_j1okwah wrote

I get your point, but the way you’re coming across is a little pro-rape vibes. I was in a similar situation as she was, and I’ve never gotten over it. It ruined my life.

At the end of the day, he knew she had a past trauma about this, he allowed himself to get so drunk that he “couldn’t control himself.” (I don’t believe that.)

People turn into their real selves when they are drunk, and they VERY LEAST we know (by his own admission, so he probably left some stuff out) is that she asked him to stop, and he did not. That’s the kind of people who do terrible things, and he did. He probably ruined her life.

So? Does he need help? Absolutely! Because he has a problem. Like, a REAL problem. I think he needs to understand the damage he has done, but he doesn’t! He’s still taking up for himself in the comments! Bruh.

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Proof-Tumbleweed-460 t1_j1om7bu wrote

He’s trying to get perspective and there isn’t exactly a rulebook for how a man can make up for this so no I’m not pro-rape in any way but I’m not gonna be shit to him either. It’s not my place to judge him my opinion is irrelevant when he’s asking how to go about making up for it.

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HyperactiveLapine t1_j1p3dsr wrote

There isn’t a rule book because sexual assault isn’t something you can “make up for”. The fact you keep defending him is literally pro-rape. “Oh but he’s depressed! Oh but he was drunk! But he feeeeels baaaaaaaddd!!!”

Do you plan on telling your friends and family that have been sexually assaulted to “make up” with their abuser?? Genuinely asking because for someone that swears you’re not defending him you seem to be doing just that; defending him. He’s a grown ass man, not a child. He knew what he was doing was wrong. There’s no way he suddenly forgot that no means no and there’s absolutely no way he thought her slapping his hand away meant he should try again later.

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Proof-Tumbleweed-460 t1_j1qtls2 wrote

I despise him for what he did but people slamming him for not asking for consent are dense because being “too” drunk to make sound decisions is very much individually based. I could cut this guy down a million times for making the decision he did but that’s not my place or yours. He’s asking how to go forward and I did just that in an earlier comment.

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Proof-Tumbleweed-460 t1_j1qt867 wrote

I’ve said this a dozen times now, my intent is not to defend him whatsoever. My point was that he was too drunk to consider asking for consent and even if he did that he probably wouldn’t be able to stop because he was at that level of being drunk. HE IS BEYOND WRONG but I can’t arrest this dude in another country so at the end of the day I’m only gonna tell him how he should move forward rather than berate this guy and inch him closer to doing something he’s already considering.

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BlahMan06 t1_j1oh7as wrote

Why the fuck are you defending a rapist?

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Proof-Tumbleweed-460 t1_j1ol4k0 wrote

Are you dense??? I’ve made it clear there is no justification for what he did but who are you to absolutely shit on someone who’s already defeated. Nobody says you have to like him but you’re not doing anything for the situation altogether

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