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mhck t1_j1p5zrf wrote

You need to eat, honey. You’re not going to deal well with life’s little annoyances (and yes, these are little annoyances) if you haven’t eaten anything in 48 hours. It’s not healthy. I don’t know what you’re punishing yourself for, but you aren’t gonna get your head right if you don’t take care of your body.

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gerishnakov t1_j1qx7km wrote

This experience does not sound like a little annoyance, it sounds like a red flag.

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mhck t1_j1rietc wrote

If you haven’t eaten in 48 hours, you’d describe a lot of things in a way that makes them seem like huge red flags. I don’t think we can get an accurate read on whether this is toxic or whether this is typical heteronormative BS because the narrator of this story was at their absolute limit of emotional control at the time it happened. That’s not a healthy place to be, whether you’re in a toxic environment or a pretty standard one.

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Elaine_Benes_Lovr t1_j1sgbrz wrote

That fact that Fox News gets played at a parents house is enough for me to end things with a partner. I DO NOT want to marry into that type of family.

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Middle_Appointment20 t1_j1sxgqi wrote

My FIL is a Fox News, breitbart, newsmax idiot. But we get along because, for the most part, we do jor discuss it. He knows I’m a liberal and mostly leaves that stuff alone. I have zero respect for his point of view but I didn’t marry him. I married his daughter( who I turned into a liberal:) )

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TucuReborn t1_j1ymsb7 wrote

This is me and some of my best friends, basically.

My best friend from middle school's whole family are massive GOP fans, and he's more moderate but still leans a bit more to the right on a lot of things.

Me and him? We can discuss and debate, then have a beer and laugh at how we can get along better than professional politicians while watching a stupid movie or anime.

Another friend is similar, with mostly left leaning views but has a few things he feels strongly about that are right leaning. He tries to stay apolitical because he hates the country's politics, but every now and then we talk politely about things.

My ex was similar as well. She was super liberal, more so than even me(and I'm a diehard BernieBro), but her whole family was death before Dems. I did not get along well with her family, but neither did she.

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L3Jane t1_j1r60w9 wrote

This is really more than a little annoyance, it’s a toxic environment regardless of how hungry she is.

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mhck t1_j1ri4me wrote

I suppose some people are so principled that they walk out on their entire relationship because their boyfriend happens to have been raised in a fairly typical heteronormative household, or because that same boyfriend has some relatives they disagree with politically. Many, many Americans spent yesterday in homes where the women cooked while the men watched TV, and where they got annoyed with their relatives who baited them about their policies. If that was the bar for “so toxic you need to leave” the January divorce rate would be nearing 100%. It’s not great. It’s not okay in the sense that we shouldn’t try to improve it. But it is unfortunately normal and common enough that some of the onus is on the individual to better manage their ability to respond to it.

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L3Jane t1_j1rqm4v wrote

It’s the first time she’s met the family and at this first meeting, the father waits for her to be isolated and the intentionally starts asking provoking questions to get a response from her? The boyfriend makes sexist comments at her expense (enough to cause embarrassment)?

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Initial_Influence428 t1_j1u9ekq wrote

That’s what stuck out for me, not only did BF leave her alone for the inquisition, he started picking on OP. If he behaved that differently around his family the FIRST TIME be brought her around, his ‘good behavior’ when not around them is a lie. That’s who he is for real, he showed her and she should believe him. You deserve better, OP, and leaving that toxic environment was a good first move for your self preservation. Take care

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TucuReborn t1_j1ymvn0 wrote

I'm a dude, and I'd have done the same as OP. I'm left leaning, and if my SO's family started picking me apart and my SO joined in, sorry, it's over. You're supposed to have each other's back, not... this...

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