TIFU by checking my husband's messages

Submitted by BabiQuinn09 t3_zxxfyn in tifu

I have been feeling my husband distant and couldn't help but to check his phone, as I was afraid something was wrong and he wasn't telling me to spare me (we have been trying to have kids and I have been feeling pretty low) I ended up checking a conversation of him with a work friend who he had show me. He made her lots of compliments and I thought it was weird but didn't make big of a case. At least I tried for a while. The messages wouldn't leave my thoughts and ended up scrolling further. I discovered he had lied about a work dinner he recently had. He had told me he would leave work at 21 and go to said dinner. I ended up finding he actually had left work at 18 and stayed an hour simply waiting for this friend. This hurted my feelings as he knows I have severe prblmes being alone and he could have come home and return aylt the hour of the dinner. He also made arrangements to give her a ride. He had told me he had given a ride to someone but not her. Even after this I didn't want to assume the worst but the thougth was present. I ended up asking if he had something he wanted to tell me. I expected lots of responses but not the one I got. He ended up telling me he was actually in love with that coworker..... Truly do not know how to feel...... We have been married since August. We have been together for five years and married this year due to my health problems. To add to the pile we made a matching tattoo earlier this month.

TL: DR Checked my husband's messages and now might get a divorce.

39

Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

OMGoblin t1_j2312n3 wrote

Wow that's very trashy of him. It sounds like he is looking for for an out from the marriage? He shouldn't have lead you on if he has problems with your your severe problems being alone or health problems or whatever is his reasoning.

3

127peter t1_j23a2uc wrote

You didn’t fuck up. On the contrary you know he’s a cheat and this may have dragged on for ages. Divorce is inevitable now.

3

Plenty_Intention1991 t1_j23c3yo wrote

I’m sorry to hear that he turned out to be a shitter. People are confusing as hell. Go out with some friends and SAFELY fuck a stranger.

12

Global_Monk_5778 t1_j23gkfj wrote

Opposite of a FU. He would have dragged this on for months, maybe even years if you hadn’t checked through his messages. You’ve saved yourself a lot of time and even more heartbreak by finding out now. Get a divorce or even an annulment if you can and make a clean break. I’m so sorry he’s done this to you.

86

RenaldoGarfunkel t1_j23mmqa wrote

Relax op. Hubby is likely just a beta orbiter for the coworker. She even let him wait an hour for dinner. She doesn't want him. Remind him of that daily.

0

AdAdventurous5657 t1_j23okjs wrote

Surviving infidelity sub will offer good advice, but basically YOU need to work out what you want. If you want to try to salvage your relationship then he needs to go nc with her and change jobs as a min and you both need ic and mc to work this out. He needs to give you a full time line of everything. He aslo needs to give you full access to everythjng. If not go see a lawyer and see what divorce looks like

10

BabiQuinn09 OP t1_j23vw7c wrote

Replying to AdAdventurous5657 (#1,143,609)

Exactly what I thought. We still haven't talked but when he arrives (If he does want to continue in this relationship) he will have to change his job. (he works at McDonald's and they can ask to be transfered to another)

6

Listan83 t1_j241j6i wrote

I doubt there is anything to salvage at this point. But you can always try therapy for couples. Other than that it’s probably time to move on before to much animosity and hatred builds up between you two and it becomes toxic

3

TangeloBig9845 t1_j242qbc wrote

I don't see how this was a fuck up. It sucks, but you did nothing wrong.

1

medazzo t1_j243bjh wrote

Matching tattoos are the mark of death of any relationship

22

Youngestmark t1_j244ek4 wrote

Why did he marry you and why did he get a tattoo if he knew this? People are so dumb

5

iwannahummer t1_j24ki5z wrote

“We're getting married, Ricky. And we're getting matching leprechaun tattoos. “

3

goosegirl86 t1_j27h9ed wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,155,325)

So, it sounds like this person probably has English as their second language, and most of this story is written in pretty good English.

I’m assuming this, since they used 18 instead of 6pm which means they’re probably either military or European. Now as they said they have health issues, you could assume they’re not USA military, and their partner is mcd so they’re also not military.

From this you could deduce that they’re probably from a country in Europe that uses the 24hr clock. So considering they said ‘hurted’ it’s possible that they’re typing this in English while also speaking another fluently.

TLDR: you’re a bit of a dick for making ‘hurted’ the topic of your post, and probably don’t speak any other languages yourself.

1