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WiggyDaulby t1_j1q0r70 wrote

You shouldn’t feel bad, she needs help because she has a pattern of behaviour that she cannot sustain; as proven by her trying to regain control by threatening to hurt herself if you go. She needs to be surrounded with people she doesn’t know who can make logical and rational decisions on her best interests without emotional attachment.

It’s a shit situation but she’s in the best place she can be. You need to prepare yourself for what comes next and this time apart can give you that breathing room to gather yourself and think about what the best plan is for you and your daughter. If you’re at the bottom the only way you can go is up! Good luck, I hope things turn around for the better for you all.

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Evangeder t1_j1q1xw3 wrote

I feel like shit right now. I lost what i valued the most, a family. Again. If i were to not say a thing, it would not happen. I knew she cheated, but if i didnt say it... god..

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AutisticPenguin2 t1_j1q4sby wrote

If you didn't say anything, she would have got worse. This isn't a once off, it's a pattern of behaviour that she doesn't know how to break. You got her help, hopefully she gets what she needs.

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WiggyDaulby t1_j1q4dr6 wrote

You will do, it’s not a situation that has much immediate positivity and the benefits from it won’t be seen for a while because she’s still in crisis and your mind will be rocked by it all. Your lifestyle has changed drastically but you have to keep on trooping; it’s okay to feel bad, down and completely lost but know that there are people and places that you can go too to, to get help and support. You’ve got this dude, you just need to worry about the things that you can control and try your best one day at a time, the issues you can’t control are out of your hands.

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Critical-Echo-923 t1_j1q81yc wrote

go up , or Flat-line !

i hate when people say If you’re at the bottom the only way you can go is up!

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WiggyDaulby t1_j1qb3fz wrote

And I hate it when people moan about the least important thing in the entire post, so I guess we all have to put up with things we don’t like.

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Critical-Echo-923 t1_j1qexaw wrote

telling people cliché things when they are in a depressed state is the last thing they want to hear

tbh the rest of your response was deam near perfect, u just fucked it up at the end

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Capable-Importance44 t1_j1q4lg2 wrote

Probably an unpopular opinion here but your a father.

Your first priority is protecting your child and your next priority is protecting yourself so you can protect your child.

If she needs help, that's the right thing as without it, she is a potential threat to your child.

Life isn't a fairy tale. She's cheated on you twice and clearly has things going on that need addressing. Start valueing yourself. And step up.

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Nakazanie5 t1_j1qgp52 wrote

If she cheats, she belongs to the streets, bro. You can't make people change. Sounds like she's using you as her ol' reliable who will always be there for her. Don't enable her behavior, as hard as it may be, you should let her go. It's unfortunate that there are kids involved, but in the long run it'll likely be a healthier environment for them when they are with you if you don't have this kind of emotional turmoil and distraction.

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MajestaHazel t1_j1r17q9 wrote

Keep your daughter away from that psycho.

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Data_lord t1_j1s873y wrote

As a child of a mother with severe mental problems and a father who stayed with her:

Take your daughter and run. Keep her safe, give her a good life with you.

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[deleted] OP t1_j1w2rre wrote

[deleted]

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Data_lord t1_j1wqr9z wrote

Shit. I can't fathom how she ended up living with her parents and not you. I would think if she gets a diagnose you would be in a good position legally, even the breakdown should weigh in.

Stay strong, my advice for the girl remains the same.

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Eldhannas t1_j1yglwg wrote

AFAIK, Poland is pretty traditional and Catholic. Would it make a difference if you could make a case that you are "faithful" and she is "unfaithful and promiscuous"?

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Soup89 t1_j1q02qd wrote

She needs help that you can't give her.

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