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GsTSaien t1_j1rbbvs wrote

Reply to comment by reevelainen in TIFU by thinking I have to practice with a pro before having sex with my girlfriend by [deleted]

Your english is fine, don't play dumb please. I do not fundamentally disagree with your point of view, I am only highlighting the nuance and why your first comment was not well received. And although a bit rude you did not say anything specifically sexist when you point out how masculinity feels and the pressure men feel to be good partners. You did, however, intentionally mischaracterize my talking points, and then attempt to invalidate my perspective.

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reevelainen t1_j1rd6yy wrote

I get your points and not going to lie, I'm not a bot. My views are subjective as I'm already in the pit by trying to participate this after getting downvoted this much. I can't just exclude my annoyance causing some intentionally toxicity to appear in my speeches under this comment, same way there's annoyance in comments towards me.

I'm trying to find the dark spots in masculinity to develop it, not to defends it's last dark castles.

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GsTSaien t1_j1reamf wrote

That is alright, I appreciate the honesty! If it helps in any way, the main issue people are taking with you is that you are implying that op's behavior is a result of the victimization of men from society. I know you aren't defending his actions, but you are eating up his excuse nonetheless.

Obviously there is pressure on men to be good lovers, everyone feels that, and feeling desirable is a huge part of sexuality, and it being expressed within part of masculinity is not a bad thing. Not feeling desired is a huge blow to confidence and self perception, that much is true. However, that is internal and related to insecurities, not pressure from society; thus, portraying op as a victim of society's expectations of men felt frustrating to others.

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reevelainen t1_j1s9g75 wrote

I have no idea from where he'd get his ideas. Nothing to do with masculinity, healthy one atleast.

Umm... Correct me if I'm right but are you truly saying that men that would get bullied about their appearance, you're saying it's internal and because of their own insecurities? It's like it's justified to mock one if he's feeling insecure? Please, help me out here. I don't know what you mean. How are the ones coming from society different?

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GsTSaien t1_j1s9nvd wrote

Who said anything about bullying? Or appearance?

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reevelainen t1_j1sbrl1 wrote

They're all linked together, there literally isn't one without the other. But yeah, it literally is a long conversation.

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GsTSaien t1_j1sd4x0 wrote

They are unrelated to this discussion.

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reevelainen t1_j1sf7tx wrote

Then you must've experienced different masculinity than I had, because I'm having hard time understanding what you mean. How aren't self-confidence, appearance, they way men are expected to represent themselves, what to wear, how to adjust their appearance, basically two sides of the same coin?

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GsTSaien t1_j1sggch wrote

We were discussing factors related to societal pressure not everything related to confidence

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