gaellamaas t1_j1xzn41 wrote
Reply to comment by reevelainen in TIFU by thinking I have to practice with a pro before having sex with my girlfriend by [deleted]
Buddy, you didn’t say a triggering thing that caused me to be emotional, I’m not even sure how you think my reply was emotional. I’m just confused as to how your take from this post was people have too high expectations of men. Please do explain, I’d genuinely love to hear it.
reevelainen t1_j1y5frg wrote
People? He seemed to think so, because he ended up getting rid of his virginity with professional help. I've learned due to comments under my comment that those expectations are just imagination of men like op, and there simply aren't any expectations towards men.
gaellamaas t1_j22x7ml wrote
Obviously there are unrealistic expectations of men, just as there are unrealistic expectations of women. However my issue is you seemed to bring up this issue out of nowhere, this post doesn’t highlight the hardships men face from unrealistic expectations. If you want to go sob about men not being treated fair, this isn’t the place for that.
reevelainen t1_j2303h3 wrote
Isn't op a man? And he thought there are expectations towards his performance? What IS more relevant place to talk about men's issues? Why it's so important to you that men's issues are NOT brought up in front of your eyes?
Sobbing reference is tasteless.. It's like screaming your misandry. Let me guess, it's a metaphora of fragile masculinity?
"Go sob about men somewhere else" is exactly the emotional side I've been talking about. You just had to choose the insulting, toxic route. Sensitive topic I'd say.
gaellamaas t1_j2323zs wrote
OP putting expectation upon himself on his own accord as a result of his own insecurity is simply not at all in line with what I’d consider an example of “unrealistic societal expectations of men”. I think it’s very important that men’s issue and mental health are spoken about, though often it is brought up in inappropriate places in order to distract from the actual issue and I felt that this was one of those circumstances.
Also I’m not sure how from this brief interaction you’ve gathered that I’m a misandrist, I am a feminist and I believe in equal rights for men and woman and when people like yourself jump into conversations that feel irrelevant to that topic, I perceive it as you trying to push some “men are oppressed” agenda. As for the sobbing comment, I just think it’d be more appropriate discussing topics like somewhere other than in the comments of a post where OP literally admits that his actions were a result of his own stupidity. It’d be best we end this discussion here as it seems my sobbing comment got you quite emotional there.
reevelainen t1_j2347ws wrote
So, as a feminist, it's your right and duty to supervise in which conversations men's issues are brought up and police that? Eventhough it's a man talking about them, relating them and therefore maybe understanding them?
Because you're a feminist and not an eqalitarian, I find it easy to understand that you fail to see the bigger picture. Because this is about a man, you'd only see the action he did, and refuse to see what made him do it. Why this individual have insecurities men can relate into?
I didn't push any agenda, people just got triggered from it, which isn't entirely wrong because we've had some rational dialogues too, but hatred is always too much and that's my failure since the original comment was too provocative. That's not pushing men are oppressed agenda that's simply trying to understand the situation from man's point of view.
I have no emotions involved in this conversation.
reevelainen t1_j2357a5 wrote
If a woman would open herself here and told she felt the pressure of being inexperienced and would be worried her boyfriend to find out she IS experienced, would you be equally mad at someone pointing out expectations towards women and tell one that this isn't the place to talk about women's issues?
reevelainen t1_j2303r4 wrote
Isn't op a man? And he thought there are expectations towards his performance? What IS more relevant place to talk about men's issues? Why it's so important to you that men's issues are NOT brought up in front of your eyes?
Sobbing reference is tasteless.. It's like screaming your misandry. Let me guess, it's a metaphora of fragile masculinity?
"Go sob about men somewhere else" is exactly the emotional side I've been talking about. You just had to choose the insulting, toxic route. Sensitive topic I'd say.
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