headpatkelly t1_j4lqave wrote
Reply to comment by Zeronality in TIFU by changing my name by [deleted]
they are both fully adults in my eyes. anyone getting upset about the age gap is being ridiculous. and yes, i'd be saying the same thing if they were straight.
Zeronality t1_j4ltoqa wrote
At least someone accepts that there are both adults that consent to a relationship.
Still I have seen similar posts (but MF) that get blasted because of the age gap.
satyren t1_j4m48sy wrote
It's not just an age difference, it's a huge maturity and life experience difference, which is being highlighted by the dysfunctionally immature behavior in the post. 8 years isn't a big deal when you're 30 and up but 24 is still a developing brain and so much more vulnerable to manipulation.
headpatkelly t1_j4m5tk9 wrote
again though. they are adults. they should be treated as adults and allowed to date who they want without others jumping to unfair conclusions. there's zero evidence of manipulation in this post on the part of the older woman. you can't assume that just because someone is hypothetically more vulnerable to manipulation that they are actually being manipulated. i don't appreciate grown women being infantilized because they're "vulnerable"
satyren t1_j4nbuwm wrote
I didn't say she was being manipulated. I said that because she's more vulnerable, they shouldn't date. Moral guidelines exist outside of laws. And I never infantilized her.
headpatkelly t1_j4nc3ix wrote
you’re literally saying she’s too vulnerable to make adult decisions because she, an adult woman, is too young. that’s infantilizing.
satyren t1_j4ngopv wrote
You're being defensive and looking too hard for something that's not there. I didn't say she can't make a decision. I said she's more vulnerable to manipulation in relationship with someone much older. I said that the healthy decision would be to not engage in that relationship. If anything, it's the 32 year old who should definitely not be making that decision. It's hard to understand the difference in mindset of someone older when you're not there yet, it's just one of those things that makes sense once you've experienced it yourself.
headpatkelly t1_j4o24rx wrote
> I didn't say she can't make a decision.
except you kinda did? you made the decision for her. "because she's more vulnerable, they shouldn't date." like sure you didn't technically say "she can't make a decision." but you certainly implied moral judgement where it isn't justifiable.
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> I said that the healthy decision would be to not engage in that relationship.
you didn't say anything about what would be healthy. you just said they shouldn't do it because she's younger, and therefore more vulnerable. i disagree. they're both adults.
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> It's hard to understand the difference in mindset of someone older when you're not there yet, it's just one of those things that makes sense once you've experienced it yourself.
this comes across as super condescending. sometimes people have different views from you, and it's not as simple as "you'll understand when you're older". i dated a much older man when i was 22, and it turned out fine. i'm older now, and i see no problems with what i did, or what he did. it was a mutual decision between adults, and no one was manipulated or harmed.
Zeronality t1_j4o4qtp wrote
>You're being defensive and looking too hard for something that's not there.
And honestly, if I may butt in: You're super condenscending.
This type of language may work in r/TwoXChromosomes, but outside that echo chamber people have different views on things. I mean I understand your points, but delivering them like you did really doesn't help
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