Not gonna lie, you have a weird relationship with your wife

> My wife says she doesn't get it because apparently I'm very attractive.

Of course, she doesn't get it. Because she is getting responses from lots of guys interested in her.

P.S. Get off Reddit and join FetLife. Go to the parties that the members on Fetlife setup.

or sit her down and show her your ad and have her help you with your game. Because maybe you are an idiot and don't see how creepy you are.

Either get marriage counseling or a divorce. This marriage sounds diseased with open relationship that the wife suggested but she isn't cool with and you're now cool with not being poly while she's has an asexual boyfriend. I not making a judgement on this being an open relationship but rather it's a mess that you two aren't on the same page.

An open relationship needs to be open on both ends. If your wife can date someone else so can you, otherwise she was just using it as an excuse to cheat on you, whether that was emotionally or physically is irrelevant.

If you can't get laid using online dating, there's no help for you. Even the most hideous people can get laid using online dating.