markphahn OP t1_iuien0q wrote on October 31, 2022 at 3:52 PM

#388,030

From, of course, twitter: https://twitter.com/historyinmemes/status/1586774731264589824

And the answer is: it depends.

JetPunk t1_iuih0wl wrote on October 31, 2022 at 4:08 PM

#388,783

All scientists aboard were killed, proving that the seat doesn't matter.

Fetlocks_Glistening t1_iuihgo9 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 4:11 PM

#388,917

The answer was surprising - most of the seats survived with little damage. The occupants, however…

archery713 t1_iuij2js wrote on October 31, 2022 at 4:21 PM

#389,448

Complete edit:

Cave Johnson here. I would like to thank you for flying with Aperture Airlines today! The boys in the shop tell me we've got something really special. Now... Safety is for losers. You don't learn about science by being safe. That's for those pansies over at Delta and American.

Should the airplane experience a forceful landing in some random corn field, we need those seatbelts on tight so we can find out who you are after our HIGHLY experimental jet fuel does... Well whatever it does to humans, we just don't know!

We hope you enjoy the flight and remember, the snacks aren't free you just paid for them with your ticket.

TheUglyTruth527 t1_iuik7xv wrote on October 31, 2022 at 4:29 PM

#389,871

I flew for the first time in a while recently and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the safety announcement. Flying is statistically the safest way to travel but when shit goes wrong you're pretty much dead. I understand why they have the farce at the beginning of every flight but people must know, deep down, that every time you fly you should be prepared to die.

el_coremino t1_iuin0xe wrote on October 31, 2022 at 4:48 PM

#390,772

Replying to TheUglyTruth527 (#389,871)

> The European Transport Safety Council estimated that 90% of aircraft accidents were technically survivable in a study in 1996.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-45030345

> Airplane accidents have a 95.7% survivability rate, according to the US National Transportation Safety Board

https://www.businessinsider.com/seven-ways-increase-your-odds-surviving-plane-crash-2020-1

rydapt50 t1_iuin7w9 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 4:49 PM

#390,835

Replying to Fetlocks_Glistening (#388,917)

Well that’s great news!

Wait, which are we?

TheUglyTruth527 t1_iuioqnn wrote on October 31, 2022 at 4:59 PM

#391,322

Replying to el_coremino (#390,772)

When I say "shit goes wrong" I'm not talking about a little tumble right after takeoff. Crashes from very low altitude pad the survivability rates, I'm sure, but that's not what I'm talking about. Also, that second article was really just polishing a turd: wear the right clothes and sit in the right seats and you, too, could survive a plane crash! Put your head right against the seat in front of you so when it comes loose it can break your neck! Be sure to huff the oxygen so you get nice and high so you ragdoll on impact (too bad you'll be disoriented if you do survive)!