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redheadedandbold t1_j62bbfm wrote

Narcissists are one of the world’s evils. I wish you better days. [I use “her” in the following generically. I have no idea if your SO was male or female.] And, therapy! Because it’s important to, 1st, identify all the way a narcissist mind-f*ked you; “manipulated” is rarely a strong enough word to describe the experience. Then, 2nd, you need to absorb and accept that the narcissist abused you based on HER needs. Not on your actions, or your personality, or your “shortcomings,” but on her ego’s needs. You were just another object to help her meet her needs; her criticism was never about you—gaslighting or abusing you was done to make her feel good/safe/superior/etc. In other words, narcissists lie. Therapy helps you to accept and KNOW that the narcissist’s statements about you were lies, the sole purpose of which was to feed the vast, empty, neediness of the narcissist. I think I belabored that enough to pound home the point. Memorize it, repeat it when your confidence wavers. It will help!

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