It sounds like you need to figure out what you want. The cost of living in DC can be higher in some cases, less so than in others. It sounds like you're worried about ... really bizarre and incongruent variables.

You need to just figure out what it is that you want ... or even what it is you're really trying to ask. The Pros/Cons are fairly standard for any metro/suburb comparison and can be subjective. Some people like quiet comfort, and other people like getting smashed at mediocre bars on the weekend.