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BellbergDC t1_j2deeh8 wrote

Reply to comment by maun_jax in I'm looking for an upscale lunch place to take my girlfriend's dad before proposing by Puzzleheaded-Ad-1877

This generation a real lack of standard - Uncle Junior from the Sopranos.

In all seriousness, it’s a respect thing. Especially if the father and daughter have a healthy relationship.

The man is asking for blessing, not permission. Maybe it’s too traditional for some, but the male typically explains he plans for the future with the guys daughter and says it would mean a lot if he would be happy for the couple.

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rotatingruhnama t1_j2djv32 wrote

My husband basically framed it as, "Your daughter and I are in a serious relationship, we've been discussing marriage for a few months now, I'm planning on proposing soon and would appreciate your support as we move forward with our life together."

My dad appreciated the gesture, but we certainly weren't treating his approval as a requirement.

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No-Lunch4249 t1_j2dlp2h wrote

Strong emphasis on the relationship between them being an important aspect.

I had always planned to have that conversation but my now-wife and her father had a big argument and falling out where her father lost both her respect and mine. It would have been silly at that point for me to ask his blessing haha.

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BellbergDC t1_j2docdm wrote

Agreed, it’s not a one size fits all approach. Depending on the dynamic having the partners family on board makes things a lot easier for the couple.

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dynospectrum7 t1_j2drw5r wrote

South of the border. Down Mexico way….

Probably respect or cultural. But leave it to people to call other traditions icky or whatever.

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