That 1 time when U had 2 buy a v-wel with upv-tes but U can't use that w3rd.....

La da da da da da.

Now I don't look dope and I know why.

Or she's high.

What? Huh?

That's not you doing something wrong, that's - Joan's Got Issues.

Ghost date? Because you had coffee together and studied?

Normal people would realize you were being polite, say thank you, and not think twice about it.

Btw, thanks for being a decent human. 😁

"Hey man..." sounds like he's talking to a guy friend, or he wanted someone who may have been reading his texts to think it was a guy. Does he normally call you man?

Oh bless! 🫣

Were you under the covers??

Don't mention it to her, at all. If she brings it up, you were snuggling because you love each other. Easy enough. I promise, you feel far more weird than she does. She won't be traumatized.

Just to make you laugh, when my son was 4, we had the door locked, and I swear to you - he picked the lock with a penny instead of knocking! Aren't the little suckers just The Best?!?

Did you say anything? If not, play dumb, say your friend called and told you they called, but you didn't get a call/have no idea what happened. I used to have a job on the phone all day. People call while on the toilet, and we'd hear their business, the flush, hand washing (if they weren't nasty), etc... hated it! Call them, give them an excuse, they'll tell themselves what they heard is not what they think they heard and everybody will be happy.