.

:( im not a bot, nor was I meaning to offend. I'm suggesting that my communication isn't good right now

thank you

you're 100% right. i'm still traumatized so it's most likely affecting how im communicating all of this.

I don't know what is my communication style. This may be it. If it is, may I please receive your advice on this situation.

same here. I'm trying my best. Thank you for taking the time to help out - I appreciate you

because isn't this what relationships do? have discussions to understand each other - i think i don't have enough tough skin to take all of the tough language he uses but i guess it's honest?

it's definitely a lot of pointless conversations! I try super hard to grab the logic out of them to ensure that there's a point! There's a point that he sees but I seriously don't see it, and try super hard to validate his points so that he feels heard/seen. I take so much time to show him that I care about what's important to him, and it's just a lot of work to investigate them all while managing my pain while he's talking to me about me in a negative way.

That's exactly it. This whole situation is confusing. I'm not really sure how to condense or make this more concise. I wish I knew what the problem is, but it's that all of this happens - and at the end of it, he just wants to be understood at the price of verbal abuse. When it first happens, I approach it logically by challenging what he says until he gets angry then I shut down and have to agree with what he feels.